Page 14 of A Different Form of Oxygen
Nine
Gavin
I can tell Ben loves torturing me, moaning against his lemon bar. His tongue flicks against the leftover sugar on the tips of his fingers. “So, tell me Gavin, what else do you like to do besides show up to people’s houses and dragging them to bakeries with you?”
“I guess you will have to find out when we hang out again.”
He laughs. “You are so sure of yourself, aren’t you? How do you know you will even want to hang out with me again?”
“Well, I kind of don’t have a choice this Thursday, do I? I am the one hosting game night after all.”
“Wait, are you saying I finally get to see where the mysterious Gavin lives? Is it some dark lonely castle in Transylvania?”
I shake my head, bringing my coffee to my lips. “No, I wish I was that exciting, but sadly I’m only up strange hours of the night bartending not sucking blood from the necks of humans.”
His fingers slide against the tabletop, twirling in the dust from his lemon bar. “You’re right, that’s not as exciting, but I’m sure you have a lot of interesting bar stories. What made you open your own bar to begin with? How does one wake up one day and decide I’m going to bartend in my own bar?”
“He doesn’t. I’ve been bartending since I was fourteen, before it was even legal. My parents owned a club, but that wouldn’t be the only illegal thing going on in there so no one hardly paid attention to my age. I always enjoyed it, I just hated doing it for them. So, when Mav and I left and came here, I took a job at a small bar named Jameson’s. Jameson became a good friend of mine, a mentor of sorts. The bar wasn’t doing well, and he had to sell it, and I was the one who bought it. That was the day Jameson’s became Bentley’s. I never looked back after that.”
His eyes light up with wonder. No one else ever seemed so interested about what I did for a living. Kyle hated hearing about the bar. In fact, he seemed displeased when I told him what I did for a living, but he quickly changed his tune after knowing how much money I brought in from it. It took me a full year to realize the reason he stuck around. The real reason Kyle ever walked into that club to begin with.
Ben sets his chin on his elbow, glancing toward the window. Appearing so innocent and serene. Ben didn’t seem to view life the same way others did. His eyes are big and bright, taking in everything with such fascination.
“Tell me, Ben, how does one become a stripper?” I ask. Thinking about Ben dancing on stage has my mind falling back to the angel from the other night. A wave of guilt has my chest tightening from thinking about someone else while being here with Ben. I know this is supposed to be nothing more than a friendly hang out, but something about it still feels wrong.
His eyes widen as his head turns in my direction. “Well, it’s very similar to your story. I wanted a better life and sometimes you need to make sacrifices to reach that better life. My father passed away when I was ten and money was tight. My mother lost her job and had to move in with my aunt. I was staying with friends, until I met…moved to California for a job. It didn’t work out. One day I walked into a club with my friend and I met Alex. He told me about his club hiring and I was a bit down on my luck, so I accepted. I assumed it was a bartending position, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I told myself I would never agree to an interview after five beers again. I saw a dancer on stage, he was striking, and everyone’s eyes were on him and every movement he made was flawless. I always wanted to be a dancer. I was in dance classes until my mother couldn’t afford them anymore. I used to sneak into dance classes without them noticing at first. Then I started watching them through the window. When I envisioned being a dancer it wasn’t doing it half-naked in front of a bunch of drunk horny men.” He pauses for a while as if searching for something in my eyes. “Sorry, you probably didn’t need my whole life story.”
I smile. “No, I like hearing more about you. It’s nice. You are nothing like what I expected, Ben Gonzalez.” I meant that, too. Ben has flaws just like everyone else and each flaw revealed makes him seem more human. I like seeing this more human version of Ben, instead of the perfectly dressed, spunky, no care attitude Ben I saw before. Ben seemed so wrapped in his own world most of the time, oblivious to everything around him but not in the way I assumed he was. But now I can’t help but think it was a cover up for something else.
He tilts his head, pursing his lips. “Oh yeah, and what did you expect exactly? You never said more than five words to me until recently. What’s that all about?”
I fumble with my paper cup. “I found you intimidating. You reminded me of someone at first and I couldn’t see past it; turns out you are nothing like him.”
He smiles. “Not the first time I heard that. It’s not exactly a compliment when people call you unapproachable or tell you how you remind them of someone they aren’t fond of, but I get it. I come off a bit strong sometimes and I don’t always make the best first impressions, especially at my twenty-eighth birthday party when I’m drunk off my ass.” He pauses for a minute, tilting his head to the side. “How do you know what I’m like when you’ve only had a handful of real conversations with me?”
"Sometimes that’s all you need, and I won’t lie, that was the most ridiculous twenty-eighth birthday party I’ve ever seen. I’ve never felt more my age than that night. Not to mention, that Alex guy was a real asshole. I nearly punched his lights out when he pushed you.”
“It was an accident, but thanks for being there to pick me up,” he says with a wink.
“I guess I didn’t understand how you could let someone treat you that way and still let him near you. I assumed if you like being with a guy like that…you wouldn’t…never mind.”
He looks at me with a now serious expression. “I wouldn’t what?”
"You know what, forget it; it was a long time ago. It’s not important anymore. How about we go back to the getting to know each other part.”
“I thought this was part of it. You can’t change the subject now. Tell me, what was the real reason Alex bothered you?”
“You want the truth? Okay then. I just figured if you were into a guy like that, there was no way…no way you would be interested in someone like me. I also assumed you were that way with everyone, and I was nothing special when you flirted with me. I was just another place holder for a guy like Alex. But like I said, it’s stupid and that was a long time ago. I was blindsided by my own broken heart and jealousy.”
His eyes go wide and I can’t believe I just said all this to him. It was like word vomit, once they started, I couldn't stop.
“Jealousy? You were jealous of Alex?”
My brows knit together. “Well, yeah. The guy pushes you and doesn’t even make sure you're okay. I sweep in, lift you up and tend to your injuries, making sure the jerk didn’t give you a concussion, and he still ends up being the one getting to kiss you at the end of the night. But like I said, it doesn’t matter now. That was what, a year ago? I had a tiny crush on you then. I’m glad we are friends now, Ben.”
His smile comes off stilted. “Yeah. Friends. “He takes a sip of his lemonade and I cling tighter to my cup, knowing I probably ruined our first hang out by bringing up the past. Why did he even need to know all that anyway? You could have just kept your mouth shut about your stupid crush. That’s all it was.
Ben remains quiet the rest of the time, munching on his second lemon bar. I clear my throat. "There's a bookstore nearby we can go to if you aren't in a hurry to go home."
