Page 26 of The Swap
Ilooked up at Gayle in surprise as her hand landed on my leg. “If you don’t stop bouncing so much, security is going to think you’re up to no good,” she teased.
I blew out a breath. “I can’t help it. I couldn’t sleep at all last night, worrying about what was going to happen when we tell Brooklyn. I keep going back and forth between wanting to get it over with and wishing we never had to tell her at all. Now her flight is delayed, and I’m about to lose my goddamn mind. And how the hell are you staying so calm?” I demanded.
Gayle chuckled. “Oh, I’m not calm. Far from it, in fact, but I took two Valiums before leaving the house.” I stared at her, trying to see if she was serious. Gayle had always been strongly opposed to taking medicine. She rarely even took over-the-counter stuff, claiming she didn’t like the way they made her feel. Two Valiums should have knocked her on her butt, but she just looked mellow instead.
“Well, okay. Next time would you mind sharing though?” I joked.
She laughed at that. “Next time? How many times do you plan on getting divorced?” I laughed too then, and my shoulders began to loosen up. Until I checked the list of flights on the monitor and saw that Brooklyn’s flight had just arrived and then my stomach plummeted, and my nerves came back with a vengeance. Gayle grabbed my hand and squeezed it and her mouth settled into a thin line.
“It’s going to be okay. We raised a smart and compassionate daughter. She’ll be upset at first, but we’re not going to lose her,” I said, repeating what Oliver had said to me. Somehow, just saying those words brought a level of comfort to me.
I spotted Brooklyn as she walked toward the baggage claim area and my heart went straight to my throat. In the back of my mind, I’d been worried that she’d change too much once she was gone, but she was still the same beautiful young woman she was a few months ago when she’d said goodbye.
Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw us, and she came running toward us with her arm wide open. “Mommy! Daddy!” She screeched as she dove into our arms. The three of us stood there, hugging and crying and then laughing at ourselves because we were crying.
I bent my head and breathed in the familiar scent of her strawberry shampoo, savoring the moment. I’d been so caught up worrying about everything that could go wrong, that I forgot about the one thing that would be perfectly right. My baby girl was home.
Brooklyn climbed in the back seat and chattered the whole way home about her new school, which classes she loved as well as which ones she hated and about her new friends. She told us how disgusting the cafeteria food was and about how her roommate refused to clean up after herself, but that they loved each other anyway. I’d forgotten how vivacious our daughter could be.
Gayle and I hadn’t had the chance to say more than two words since we got in the car, but neither of us were complaining. For now, we were just content listening to our daughter and seeing how happy she was. We exchanged looks across the front seat and even though she was smiling, I knew Gayle was having the same thoughts I was. What would our news do to our daughter? Would she ever be this carefree again? I took Gayle’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze then I forced my thoughts aside and focused on Brooklyn as she described a project that she was working on for one of her classes.
I carried Brooklyn’s suitcase upstairs and laid it down on her bed then I went back down to the kitchen where the two women were busy getting dinner ready. Gayle had left her special homemade spaghetti sauce cooking in the crockpot all day and had pasta boiling in a pot on the stove. Brooklyn set the table while I put together a salad and soon we were sitting down to eat.
We were halfway through our meal when Brooklyn looked at each of us. “So, I’ve told you all about me. What’s new with you guys?”
I froze with my fork halfway to my mouth and Gayle shot me a panicky look. I set my fork down and took a drink of water, carefully trying to decide what to say first. Brooklyn’s eyes darted back and forth between us as she picked up on the tension in the room. I reached for her hand and cupped it in my own. “Sweetheart, your mom and I have something to talk to you about.”
“What’s going on?” she asked.
I squeezed her fingers and Gayle reached for her other hand. “After you left for school, your dad and I had a long talk. You know that we love you very much and we love each other too, right?” She waited until Brooklyn nodded. “Well, the thing is, we realized that while we love each other, we’re notin lovewith each other anymore.”
“What?” Brooklyn gasped, darting her eyes to each of our faces.
“What your mom’s saying is, we realized that we’re better as friends than a couple,” I added.
“So, what does this mean? Are you getting a divorce?” Brooklyn’s voice sounded small and scared and I felt part of my heart breaking.
Gayle and I looked at each other and then we nodded. “We still love each other, and we talk all the time, probably more than we did before because now we’re able to be completely honest about how we’re feeling. In a way, this has brought us closer together.”
“I don’t get it. If you’re talking and even closer and you both still love each other, then why are you splitting up? Why not go to marriage counseling or try going on some dates to bring the spark back?” Brooklyn asked, her voice rising as she became more upset.
“Honey, it doesn’t work that way,” Gayle started, but Brooklyn cut her off.
“Then howdoesit work, Mom? Because I thought when you loved someone you did whatever it took to stay together.” The two of them stared at each other and I could see that neither knew quite what to say next.
“Do you remember us telling you how your mom and I met?” I jumped in.
Brooklyn turned to me. “You were both in college, right?”
“Right. We were not much older than you. It was our freshman year and we met at a party. Things got a little out of hand and the next thing we knew, you were on the way. We got married soon after and then you were born, and we were so elated to have you. Don’t ever doubt how much we wanted you,” I told her, looking right into her eyes to be sure she heard me.
“But my point is, we barely knew each other when we decided to get married. We were scared to death back then and had no idea what we were doing. It forged an unbreakable bond between us which developed into a strong friendship. Eventually, that friendship turned into a deep mutual respect and even love, but we never were in love with each other,” I explained.
“So, both of you are okay with this?” She looked at us like she still wasn’t quite sure.
“We really are, honey,” Gayle assured her. “I want your father to be happy and he wants the same for me. We’re both fully supportive of each other.” She glanced at me as she said it.
“What? Is there something else I need to know?” Brooklyn asked almost hysterically.
