Page 13 of Something Real with the Sea Monster
“I know.” My heart is picking up pace as the silence on the other end of the phone extends into a tenuous cord tugging on my chest. Is this the part where he says he’s sorry? Where he says he made a mistake? Do I even want that? A few days apart and the shock of a broken heart has made me see lots of things about the situation I had been glossing over before.
The way he never messaged me first. The way he never made plans in advance like I didn’t matter. Like I’d just drop everything and be available to him whenever he wanted.
And I did.
“I didn’t want it to come to this.”
“Me neither,” I say, my voice cracking.
“Listen, I feel bad about the way things ended. I just wanted to check that you’re OK.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t expecting kindness. I can’t form the words to answer around the lump in my throat.
“And you won’t… you know? Say anything to head office?”
The lump disappears in an instant as a flush of heat settles over my whole body. Not kindness, just more self-interested bullshit. “Well, I wasn’t going to, but this phone call sure makes me want to. What the fuck did you think I was going to do, Mark? Broadcast to everyone what an idiot I am to fall for you? Let them all know I violated company policy?”
“Right. I mean good.”
“No, not good, Mark. Really not good.” I don’t realize I’m shouting until Jack opens the door and sticks his head out with a concerned look.
“Is everything OK?”
I let out a breath and pull the phone away from my ear so I can ignore whatever Mark is saying. It doesn’t matter anyway. “No. Yes. It will be.”
What am I even doing letting him drag me down more? I press the button to end the call and shake my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I never should have taken that call.
“Want to talk about it?”
“No. I’m going to go now. I’ll be back in the morning like we talked about.”
“Right. Yeah. Thanks.”
I turn to go.
“Hey, Tegan?”
“Yeah?”
“He’s an idiot.”
“Huh?”
He nods his head to indicate my phone, which is still in my hand. “Mark? Idiot.”
“How do you know? I mean he is, but how do you know?”
“He fucked things up with a woman like you, that’s how.”
Jack’s sweet words stay with me as I drive up the hill to Mia’s house. They shouldn’t, but they really make me feel better, which is good evidence I’m not in the right headspace to be alone. Luke left out a spare key for me, but instead of waiting in the house by myself until Mia and Luke get home, I stop at the first place I find with people gathered on the way there, the local pub.
A cheeky afternoon drink or two won’t hurt. In fact, that’s an excellent idea to get my mind off Mark and all the reasons I came to Kraken Cove in the first place.
EIGHT
Jack
Despite my best intentions, I think about Tegan most of the afternoon. Mostly it’s because I’m worried about her. Clearly she’s not OK.
