Page 49 of Wilderness Search
“That was a good night,” he said. “A special night.”
He slid his hand into hers and the warmth of him wrapped around her. That hadn’t felt rushed or tawdry or any of the things she might have imagined sex with a man she scarcely knew would be. It just felt…right. She looked down at his hand. She would have denied she ever believed in love at first sight, but looking back, she could see she had started falling in love with Aaron during that first conversation, while she cleaned the cut hand of a bleeding prisoner and they talked about the phenomena of emergency rooms being busier during the full moon.
She closed her eyes against sudden tears, the pain of missing him overwhelming her. How had something so right ended so badly?
“Willa?” He stroked her hair, and turned her toward him. “What’s wrong?”
She opened her eyes and looked at him, his features blurred but familiar—strong jaw, thick eyebrows, dark lashes any woman would envy. “I loved you so much,” she blurted.
“I know.”
His lips on hers were firm, not hesitant or doubting.This is what I want,the kiss said. And everything in her echoed,This is whatIwant.
She reached for him, sliding her fingers around the back of his neck to the warm, soft place beneath a tickling fringe of hair. She opened her mouth and more warmth flooded her as his tongue tangled with hers, every sensitive nerve alive to his touch. He slid his palm up to cup the side of her breast and she knelt on the sofa cushion beside him, then crawled into his lap, straddling him, hands gripping his shoulders while his fingers dug into the curve of her hips.
They began to undress each other, not talking. Not needing to talk. She pushed back his shirt and the cool metal of the St. Michael medallion brushed against her palm. He lifted his hips and she tugged off his jeans, then straightened so that he could pull her top over her head. She stripped off her jeans and underwear with no self-consciousness. She had been here before, with this man, and she had never felt safer.
Her fingers moved without her having to think, rediscovering territory that had once been as familiar to her as her own. His skin was firm and warm, taut over a muscular chest and arms. There was the mole on the left side of his ribs, and the perfect whorl of dark hair centered between his nipples. There was the lopsided indentation of his navel, and the small silvery white scar from the appendectomy he had had at age twelve. She pressed against him, and felt the rigid heat of his erection, and the answering flood of warmth within her.
He gripped her bottom and settled her more firmly against him, then kissed her long and hard until she was dizzy and breathless, trembling with need.
“Condom?” she asked, no longer capable of full sentences.
In answer, he gently shifted her off of him and stood, then took her hand and tugged her upright. She let him lead her down a hall to a bedroom—comforter pulled up over pillows, a single lamp casting a pool of light over the right side of the bed in the gloom of drawn curtains.
“I’ll be right back,” he said.
She lay back on the bed, the thrill of anticipation washing over her. She didn’t allow herself to think—didn’t give doubt time to take hold. Aaron returned in moments, a foil packet in his hand. The bed dipped as he lay beside her, and when he pulled her close she surrendered everything, no longer fighting what she had needed for so long.
Aaron had dreamedof making love to Willa again—tortured dreams after which he woke frustrated and grief stricken. There was no grief now, only the joy of knowing she was just as he remembered—just as beautiful. Just as passionate. Just as able to make him feel so much better than he deserved.
He wanted to take his time—to reacquaint himself with every inch of her. But neither of them could wait for that. When she whispered for him to hurry, the urgency in her voice sent a tremor through him. He unwrapped the condom and slid it on, then moved toward her. She moaned as they came together, and that was almost his undoing. Nothing had felt this right—ever. When he began to move, she moved with him, and smiled up at him, his own delight reflected in her eyes. Then she laughed, and he laughed, too, increasing the pace of their rhythm, wanting to memorize the incredible feel of her—of them together.
Then the intensity of the moment silenced them both, and they communicated only with a shifting of hips or the nudge of a hand. His heart pounded, and when he rested his palm between her breasts he felt the thud of her heart, too. Her face was flushed, her eyes glazed, and he knew she was close to the edge. He slid his hand down between them to touch her and felt her convulse around him, a tension that triggered his own release, powerful and overwhelming and humbling.
They lay together for a long while afterward, thin bars of white light showing around a gap in the curtains in the otherwise dim room. She rested her head in the hollow of his shoulder, one thigh draped over his thigh, her skin soft as satin, the perfume of her hair mixed with the musk of sex, taking him back to other bedrooms they had shared, as if scarcely a day had passed since they had last been together, instead of almost a year.
“I hope that wasn’t a mistake,” she said, breaking the silence.
“It wasn’t a mistake,” he said. The words hadn’t alarmed him. He had known she would think this, even if she didn’t say it. Willa had lost so much in her life she lived with the fear of loss even in the midst of bounty. He had tried to be that bounty for her. That he had failed still haunted him, but he was not one to dwell on the past. He could only look forward, and try to prove she had nothing to lose with him this time.
She shifted, and raised her head to look at him. “It can’t be like before between us. I can’t be that…consumed…again. I can’t lose myself that way again.”
“I never wanted you to lose yourself.” He stroked her arm, the fine hairs soft against his fingers. “I don’t want to own you or monopolize you or do anything but love you.”
Her eyes met his, her gaze as open and honest as he had ever seen it.
“I’m scared,” she stated.
“I know. I’m scared, too. Scared of screwing up. Scared of losing you again. But isn’t it better to be scared together than apart?”
She lay down again, curled against him. “Yes,” she said. “Yes, it’s better.”
He rested his hand on her back, and felt her relax and fall asleep. But he lay awake a long time. Being with her was better than anything else. But he didn’t know if he could survive losing her again.
Chapter Fourteen
Saturday morning shortly before noon, Gage, Aaron, Jake and Ryker reported to the main office of Mountain Kingdom Kids Camp with a warrant to search the property. Other deputies waited outside for the order to begin combing through the various buildings on the property.
