Page 70 of Cast in Shadow
A low, displeased energy radiated from her. She leaned forward, planting her elbows on the table as she pressed her palms to the smooth surface. It was so hard to see her chipped hot pink nail polish and not think of her as the young teenager who’d wormed her way into my heart.
Shay’s hazel eyes bore into me like she was searching for some hint of weakness. “If not this mission, then when?”
I reached out and took her hands. “I don’t know yet, but I’m sure something will come up soon.” I squeezed reassuringly. “Until then, you can still shadow the teams while they’re here and help Dennis on comms when he needs it. And keep up with your combat training with Nguyen.”
Some of the tension left her shoulders. “In other words, I’m free to keep doing what I’ve been doing for over a year.” The defeat in that statement was like a tiny, hot blade digging into my side.
“For now. We all play different roles, but it takes each and every one of us to get the job done. When the time is right to send you out on your first real field mission, I won’t stand in your way.”
Shay tugged her hands free of my hold. “Yeah,” shegrumbled. But when she picked up her fork and started eating her ramen, relief trickled through me.
“I promise, Shay. You’ll get your shot.”
“Just so we’re clear,” she started, covering her half-full mouth with the back of her hand, “I’m also pissed at you for not telling me about Emerson.”
I was wondering how long it would take her to mention him. It had been an uncharacteristically quiet day at Lexa. I’d spent my time scouting locations for our trap, and for the first time since he’d frozen me in that clearing, Emerson hadn’t made a single attempt to reach out.
The silence should have been a welcome reprieve, so why didn’t it feel that way?
“I didn’t tell anyone about him,” I offered, though I knew she deserved more of an explanation than that.
“And the fact that you’re super old, am I just supposed to roll with that too?”
“You can throw a tantrum if it’ll make you feel better, but it’s not like I can go back in time and change anything. And even if I could, I wouldn’t. If I’d lived a regular mortal life, I would have turned to dust long before you were ever born.”
She swirled another forkful of noodles. “I’m too old for tantrums, but I definitely want to hear some of the stories you’ve been hoarding over the years. There’s no way you’ve been around for this long without collecting some wild tales.” Then she shoved the food in her mouth like a heathen.
“I’ll share what I can, but anything I tell you stays between us.”
Shay swallowed. “Yeah, I figured.”
We ate in silence for the next few minutes, but I could see the questions brewing inside her. When she pushed her empty bowl away and sat back, I braced for the inquisition.
“What are you going to do about him?”
“About who?”
She shot me an irritated look. “Emerson, obviously.”
“We’ll coordinate over the next couple days, finalize the plan.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
I knew what she meant. “It’s complicated.”
“What isn’t?”
“There’s a lot of history between us. And a lot of pain.”
“But he’s still in love with you, right?”
This girl. She didn’t even know how to pull punches.
How was I supposed to answer that question? Emerson’s possessiveness was still firmly intact. He obviously wanted me, at least physically. But that wasn’t love. I didn’t even know if primordial demonscouldfall in love.
“I don’t know,” I finally admitted.
She lifted her fist to her lips and faked a cough. “Bullshit.”
