Page 38 of Hunted
Her lips twisted.“I used to dream about it.Walking into the Emperor’s throne room with my wings out, teeth bared, fire in my throat.I used to fantasize about the sound his bones would make when they cracked, the way he’d feel as he burst between my dragon’s teeth.”
“But?”I prodded.I wanted to help.I was a gamma, my caring instincts were often secondary to my fighting instincts...but I wanted to help.And I thought maybe Robin needed a less beta touch right now.I wasn’t afraid to ask her difficult questions.She would hardly be surprised if the boogeyman wanted to talk about awful things.
She shook her head.“It’s different now, the impatience I feel.I’m tired of fantasies.I want something real.Results.And end to this all.I just...I’mtired,Dusek.And I grow more tired with every day.I just want this to end.”
I nodded.That was what I was afraid of.I could feel the darkness hovering around her aura, coloring her every movement.Irritability.Lethargy.A sort of...soul sickness.The bold, beautiful alpha princess of the rebel court was...depressed.And I was afraid how this would end.I didn’t know how best to confront her, though.I wasn’t a soft touch like the others.
Leaning into my bubak magic ever so slightly, I tried to siphon off some of the dark emotions, to feed from the soul-dark that was plaguing her and maybe lessen its weight.“Everything will come around right in the end,” I said awkwardly, trying my best to offer...positivity.It wasn’t really my strong suit.
She huffed in disdain at my weak attempt.“Will it?”
We worked in tandem to repair the gate.My magic moved like smoke—cool, precise, binding her heat without extinguishing it.Our auras met in the middle, danced like smoke and fire.Robin didn’t flinch away from the creeping dread my aura caused everyone who came into contact with it.
Finally, I worked up enough courage to ask her the question that was lodged in my throat.“You’re...not planning on surviving this, are you?”I said quietly.
She didn’t look at me, didn’t pause in her perusal of the rough stone wall in front of her.“Oh, that,” she said with a dismissive wave of one graceful hand.“It hardly matters, as long as the emperor dies and my magic is returned to me, where no one else can use it for their own stupid schemes.”
She was tired.A childhood full of trauma followed by sixty years of plotting and living for revenge would do that to a person, I supposed.
But I didn’t know what to say, how to change her mind or appease the desperate fear building in my own chest.We couldn’t lose her.Icouldn’t lose her.For so long, Robin’s fiery spark was the only thing that had given me purpose when I myself was too tired to go on.
“You used to pray,” I said, surprising us both when the words just tumbled out of my mouth without thought.
“I did?”she asked flippantly as we moved on down the tunnel.As if she had no clue what I was nattering on about.
“I saw you once,” I admitted.“On accident.Not long after I joined the court.”The image was forever etched in my mind—Robin kneeling on the stone floor in her room, her long red-gold hair loose around her and her hands clasped to her chest as she whispered to the altar she kept hidden in her closet.I hadn’t meant to spy.I had been looking for her to ask her a question.But it had been all I could do to turn away from the vision she made.She had seemed so...fervent.So passionate and intense.So full of faith.
“Mmm...yes, to the dragon ancestors, I suppose,” she said in a dismissive way that made me think she was working too hard to sound unbothered.
“Do you still?”I asked softly.
She didn’t answer, and I didn’t press the issue.
When the next ward sparked clean and steady, she turned and leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes.I stayed beside her.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she said quietly.“Acacia.The bond.Josh.This...spiral.I never meant for any of this to take this long.I think...I think I was dragging my feet.Putting it off, even before Ruya came.”
“I know.”
“And this mess with Acacia...I thought I could control it.Use her for information on the emperor.Keep our people safe.”
“She outplayed you.”
She opened her eyes and sniffed.“I wouldn’t sayoutplayed.Let’s not be overdramatic.”
“Right.You’ve just been off your game is all,” I agreed.
Her gaze sharpened.“So you’re agreeing that I’m a weak alpha?”
“No,” I said, rolling my eyes.“All I’m saying is you’re carrying too much weight, and you’ve got one arm tied behind your back, handicapped by the whole missing birthright thing.”
She stared at me.
“Not this again!Dusek, I expect this sort of sentimental mush from Ruya, from Sanka and the other betas...but you?No.I do not accept this.Go back to being the reticent, voiceless shadow I know and love, if you please.This is not about me needinghelp.”
“You’re right,” I said, pushing on.“It’s not about you needing help.It’s about denial.You’ve been running this court without your birthright for sixty years.That’s not a strength.That’s survival.And you’ve gotten good at it.Too good.You forgot it was a temporary thing, a situation to be remedied, and now you think you’re justsupposedto run on empty and carry every burden no matter the cost.Like that’s just normal.”
She exhaled.“So I should what—collapse?Give in?Give up?”
