Page 102 of An Unwanted Spinster for the Duke
“You could have died. The accident could have been worse. However, we were so—” he stopped, looking pained. His hands were clenched into fists by his sides. “I was distracted so I didn’t notice anything. I let myself be swept by the moment. I let myself forget about the lurker.”
“What are you saying, Dominic?” she asked, her eyes widening. “Are you blaming me for what happened?”
“No, Marianne. I am blaming myself,” he corrected, his eyes glimmering and full of emotion.
“You can’t do that to me, Dominic. Make me feel like you are doing this for my own good. I lived for years under someone who used fear to keep me and my siblings under control. But at least, he never pretended to truly care, except when in front of other people,” she said bitterly. “My father told me what to wear and where to go. When I got older, I realized what he was doing, and he had a harder time telling me what to think. It was then that I got punished for disobeying. And you’ve seen me do that—time and again.”
“I’m not like your father,” Dominic muttered, his body tense. His shoulders and arms were poised as if he could snap someone in half with his bare hands.
For some reason, Marianne didn’t fear him. Not at all.
“I am not trying to control you. You have always been free to do what you want in our homes. You are free to invite your sisters over.”
Her pride made her deaf, or somewhat so. There was a pang in her heart. So, she continued on.
“I never told you much about my father,” she mumbled, her voice thick with unshed tears. “I had spent my life surviving under someone else’s thumb. I swore that I wouldn’t be caged and that I would protect my sisters. But look at me now—more helpless than any of them.”
“That’s not true,” Dominic whispered, looking down at the floor, perhaps to control his own emotions.
“You don’t get to take my choice from me, Dominic. If I am truly in danger and the whole thing was not an accident, then let me face it with you. Don’t lock me away. What if it goes on forever? Will you cage me for so long?”
“You know that won’t happen?—”
“How do I know that?” she interrupted, trying to get him to look at her. He finally did.
“Do you think I am afraid of Linpool?” he asked, his eyes finally landing on her. They were haunted and raw, full of anger and hatred that went back years.
She could understand that—of course, she did. However, being in pain didn’t have to mean mistreating the ones around you.
“Where did that come from?” she asked, genuinely confused.
“These decisions are not made out of fear of him. I had not been afraid of him, even though I knew what he was capable of.”
“Then what is it?” she pressed, wanting to know more about this man she married.
She had thought she was close to touching his emotions, getting him to bare his soul and not just his desires. But she was wrong, oh so wrong.
“I am afraid ofyou, not him.”
His confession shocked her. She backed away a few steps, her hand on her throat. How could he be afraid of her? Did he think she was on her way to ruin his life?
“What?”
This time, it was Dominic who walked closer to her as she stepped back once more.
“I saw it. The beginnings of it, Duchess,” he muttered. “But you make me blind. I forget about all the threats I knew would be coming, knowing Linpool. I forget everything I’ve been taught to do, to be on guard. You make me reckless.”
Marianne was torn. A part of her ached for him and did not want to see him like this. She stopped herself from reaching for him.
“Dominic—”
Still, a part of her chafed at the fact that he thought she caused his recklessness—that she was to blame for his troubles.
“My mother let her heart blind her, Marianne,” he continued, his voice cracking. “That’s how I lost her.She should have been stronger than she was. Instead, she had let Linpool into her cracks. She had always been trying to fill a void.”
Marianne’s breath caught as she realized what she was hearing. Her lips trembled. The hand on her throat slipped to her chest, right over where she was hurting the most. Her palms might still be scraped and her arms bruised, but Dominic had just inflicted the worst pain she’d ever known.
“So, that’s what this is all about? Is that what you think of me, Your Grace? A weakness?” she asked, horrified. Her eyes bulged at the implication.
