Page 42 of Loving a Beast of a Marquess
If she accepted Percy’s hand, whatever they shared would be over. And damn it—damn it—he wasn’t ready to lose her yet. He’d always known this day would arrive, but he wasn’t ready.
“Excuse me,” he said, pushing his chair back. “I find I have little tolerance for this conversation.”
“Good God, man, surely you can’t be upset because your attempts to charm the sister were fruitless.”
Zachary gritted his teeth as he left the room. He had promised Evangeline that he would keep his temper better, but at the thought that she might marry his friend of all people, his fist itched to punch something. Better he removed himself from the situation now before he did something he regretted.
“Ah, Zachary,” his mother called from the drawing room as he passed. “Would you be amenable to a game of Pall Mall tomorrow?”
He paused, the idea occurring to him with lightning impact. “Is Lord Riffy invited?”
“I believe so.”
“Then consider me a member of the party,” he said grimly.
* * *
Emily looked at Evangeline, her jaw dropping. This wasnotthe response Evangeline had hoped for, but she supposed she could expect nothing less when she had given the news she hadn’t immediately accepted the Earl of Riffy’s hand in marriage.
“You mean to say,” Emily said, her voice tight with indignation, “that you do not wish to marry him?”
“It’s not precisely that I do not wish to marry him,” Evangeline said slowly, although that was true—she, oddly, had no wish to marry anyone at all at present, even though that had been her goal all season, “but I suspect he does not want to marry me.”
“After he has paid you such attention!”
“Oh, to be sure.” Evangeline waved a hand. “He is charming enough, I grant you, and perhaps he would make a charming husband, too, until his attention wanders, but—”
“But I thought you said that’s what you wanted from a marriage,” Emily said frowning.
Confound it. Shehadsaid those very things, and what folly it had been to think she did not want the attentions of a husband. Zachary had shown her she wanted every attention he could offer, and all the attentions he didnotoffer her for fear that someone would discover their relationship.
Not, of course, that they were embarking on any sort of relationship. She was not foolish enough to attempt to entice him into marriage.
Unless, of course, he might be inclined to be tempted,thenEvangeline could not say what she would do.
None of this could come about if she married the Earl of Riffy.
“If he had asked me,” Emily said, “what would you have told me?”
Evangeline hung her head, knowing the answer as well as she knew her sister’s face. “I would have told you it was an admirable match, and one you should not hesitate to accept.”
“Yet now, you are going against your own advice?”
“I hardly know what I am doing.” Evangeline paced her bedchamber, making a point of keeping her voice low. Not that she suspected the Marquess of listening—he had never come to her bedchamber that she knew of—but she wanted no one, not even the servants, to know the nature of her predicament. “The Earl is charming and kind, and I am aware I may never get another offer of marriage—and certainly not one from an Earl.”
Emily frowned up at her sister. Sweet Emily, whose sense of duty would have dictated she accept the Earl even though her heart was elsewhere. Evangeline knew the difference between them: Emily was selfless, and she was not. Emily wasgood,and she was not.
“Why do you hesitate?” Emily asked. “Can it be you love another?”
Yes.
Yet, what good could come of telling Emily the contents of her heart when it contained the very man she had warned Emily from? If Zachary had shown any signs of wanting to marry her—but he had not done, and to dwell on it was foolishness itself.
“I shall likely accept the Earl’s proposal,” Evangeline said distantly, feeling the weight of the life she never wanted settle on her shoulders, “but I need some time to accustom myself to my new future.”
“He will make you a considerate husband, I suspect,” Emily said. “You know we can hope for nothing more.”
Until she had met Zachary, Evangeline had indeed hoped for nothing more. He had taken her expectations and torn them to shreds, replacing them with a desire to be wanted. For her husband to pin her against the wall and kiss her until her breath was ragged. For her body to sing with desperate need for him.
