Page 60 of A Marquess to Save Her
Callum sighed in exasperation. "You know what I am talking about, Louise. We were supposed to spend the day together," he said.
"I slept off and forgot about our plans," she lied, twirling a lock of her hair nervously. She was not an excellent liar and lying to someone she felt deeply for, like Callum, certainly did not come easy to her.
"Louise, I know something is wrong. Please, talk to me," Callum said, and if Louise did not know any better, he would say she sounded desperate.
Louise sighed. "I suppose I just realized the futility of it all," she said.
"The futility of what?" He asked.
The futility of falling for you when I knew that this could never amount to anything."The futility of sneaking around with you," she lied.
"You no longer want to spend time with me?" he asked, surprised, "We still had a lovely time together yesterday. What changed?"
"I realized the true cost of a dalliance, especially for a young maiden like me. I would be completely ruined," she lied.
"But you did not seem to have a problem with this before," Callum said.
Louise sighed. "That is because I did not think deeply about it. If we were to ever get caught, I would bear the brunt of it," she said, "moreover, it would ruin my chances of getting married forever."
Callum seemed hurt by what she had just said. "You know that I would defend you with every breath in me if that were to ever happen," he said vehemently.
The fierceness with which he said those words made Louie's heart flutter. She wished that he would be willing to let go of his resolve against marriage but she knew that a man like Callum would never renege on a promise that he had made to himself.
"Louise, my heart has not been at rest ever since you refused to show up," he said, earnestly.
My heart was not at rest all day too. I wanted nothing but to be around you and forget all of my worries."Is that so?" she said impassively.
"This is the last day of the house party and after today, we may never be able to spend this much time together again," Callum said, and for a moment, Louise could have sworn she saw raw hurt in his eyes.
I could never spend time with you today knowing that you do not feel the same way that I feel toward you.Instead of expressing her true feelings, however, Louise looked away from him for fear of blurting out her feelings there and then. She knew that doing so would probably scare him away.
"What does any of this matter anyway? We will be leaving for London tomorrow," she said.
"Louise, the day is still young and we could still make the most of it," Callum said, "we could still spend the night together."
Louise looked at him and the look in his eyes tempted her to take him up on the offer.
"Louise, I would be in the room where you met me for the first time until midnight. If you wish to talk to me and tell me what is truly troubling you, then come before midnight," he said, "if you do not think we have anything to talk about, then you do not have to come."
With that, Callum stood up and left Louise sitting there.
More than anything, Louise wanted to spend the last night at the Felington residence with the man that she had come to feel deeply for. Yet, she knew she could not do it because if she spent any more time in his arms, she feared that she might tell him what she truly felt for him. Doing this would be futile because Louise was certain that he did not feel the same way for her.
With her resolve tightened, Louise headed for her room. Even though every moment she spent away from Callum broke her heart, Louise knew that being around him at this moment would only make it harder for her to get over her affection for him.
In her room, Louise tossed and turned in the bed, unable to relax enough to sleep. Her mind was consumed with the thought of Callum and even when she closed her eyes, images of him appeared in her mind. Soon enough, Louise realized that her attempt at sleeping was not leading anywhere, so she decided to do the one thing that her heart yearned for: accept Callum's offer. Even though her brain told her that it was a bad idea and it would only cause her to fall even more deeply for him, Louise's heart told her it was the right thing to do. How bad could spending a few moments with the man she cared about get?
As long as I do not nurse any expectations, she thought. She already knew that he could not feel as deeply for her as she did for him, why then could she not simply enjoy the remaining moments they had to spend together without being plagued by the thoughts of her problems?
With that, Louise slipped out of her room and headed for their rendezvous point. She made sure to stay in the shadows and hide when she saw people. Seeing a young maiden sneaking in the halls at night would certainly get thetoncurious and she certainly did not want them looking too deep into her lest her dalliance get discovered.
Moments later, when she got to the door of the room and raised her hand to knock, she pondered over it yet again. Since her feelings for Callum were deep, she was not certain what the outcome of her meeting with him would be. What if she mistakenly told him what her true feelings were? Subconsciously, she began to lower her hand. Realizing this and seeing that she would only continue to overthink until she talked herself into walking away, Louise quickly knocked on the door. She was about to knock for the second time when the door was yanked open from the inside.
Louise quickly slipped inside and saw Callum, looking relieved at the sight of her. It was at this moment that all the emotions that she had earlier tried to suppress came rushing back. She closed the space between herself and Callum and kissed him, fiercely.
Callum seemed flustered at first, but he soon caught up, kissing her just as passionately. By the time they disengaged from the kiss, Louise felt exhilarated. She knew that she had not made a mistake by deciding to spend the last night with him.
"Easy, I thought you were here to talk," Callum said, even though he looked pleased with the kiss, and from the bulge in his breeches, Louise could tell that another part of him was also excited by the kiss.
