Page 3 of The Scarred Duchess Deal
Having had the final word, she turned to leave.
ChapterTwo
“Oh no, you do not!”
Tessa heard Sophie’s outraged remark from over her shoulder despite storming out of the room. She knew very well that her behavior was outlandish and more than a little juvenile, but she could not bring herself to care. She was sotiredof having to stand or sit as prettily as possible while everybody in the room constantly insulted and berated her. She did not wish to have to constantly force herself into shapes and opinions that she did not desire.
Tessa yanked the drawing-room door shut on Sophie’s outraged face. It felt more gratifying than she knew it ought to. She could not help herself. She could hear her aunt uttering apologies over her behavior and muttering placations and excuses as she tried to make the best of the situation.
Sophie yanked the door open and slammed it behind her as she stomped behind Tessa.
“Who are you to keep me from something that I deserve?” Sophie nearly shouted. “You have no right to stay home when I deserve to have an evening out with Society! Youwillattend the ball. Youwilldance and youwillbe pleasant for the span of the entire evening!”
Tessa balled her hands into fists at her side and looked up to the ceiling in an attempt to calm herself. She missed her mother most in moments like this. Tessa’s mother had never been tolerant of Sophie or her constant tantrums. It was times like these that her mother would have looked at Tessa and given her a knowing look like a secret joke between them. They would laugh and laugh over Sophie’s antics until Sophie gave up and went away.
Tessa could not do that any longer. Now she had to simply grit her teeth and bear it. There was no alternative because Sophie and her family were all that she had left. They were all that she had in the whole world.
“I will not attend the ball for all of the reasons that you have already listed as well as perhaps a dozen more of my own,” Tessa reasoned as calmly as possible. “I shall not prevent you from going, of course. If you have an issue with my staying home, I am certain that you are more than capable of coming up with plenty of horrible reasons as to why I had to do so. Tell them that I became scared of my own reflection and spent the night weeping for all that I care.”
Sophie laughed and placed her hand on her hip. “I might, actually. Everybody who has been misfortunate enough to look at that face would believe it too.”
Tessa rolled her eyes and started to head back to her room. Sophie reached out and yanked her by her arm back toward her.
“I am not finished speaking with you! You are so rude! I suppose that you have forgotten basic manners but it is rude to walk away from a conversation while it is still happening,” Sophie reminded her.
“I have no interest in anything that you have to say, Cousin. You are incapable of speaking about anything other than yourself. Why would I force myself to listen to your squirrel chatter when I do not have to?”
“The only reason that you do not wish to attend the ball is that you know I am right. You know that you will be regarded as an ugly aberration and are too much of a coward to handle it,” Sophie countered just before her mother joined them.
“Good heavens, you girls need to stop fighting. We have company. Theodore!” Aunt Anna called. Any time something unpleasant happened with her daughter, she would summon her husband to deal with it.The only answer that she got was the sudden and incessant barking of her husband’s beloved dog, Colonel Floppy Ears. The deep, loud bark seemed to echo as it filled the entire first floor. The darling pooch was not quite intelligent enough to locate the source of the sound but was intent on alerting its master nonetheless that he was being summoned.
“That sodding dog!” Aunt Anna clutched at her chest in fright. The mastiff was the bane of her entire existence. Anna was wholly and thoroughly convinced that her husband loved the black dog more than he loved her. The thing was nearly as large as she was and certainly demanded more attention than she did on most days. The barking scared the wits out of her, but her husband never seemed to care. Even worse, it drooled all over their bed when she was attempting to sleep. Aunt Anna hated the dog but there was nothing that she could do about it.
Sophie would not be dissuaded. The threat of her father did not intimidate her in the slightest. “You are a curse,” she snapped at Tessa. “Do you know that? You bring trouble everywhere that you go.”
Tessa flinched. Some part of her wished to deny it. She wished to refute the claims and stand up for herself… but it was something that she tended to think about herself most nights. She wondered why it was that she had to be the one who survived. Nobody knew where her brother was. Tessa had no idea if he was all right or if something had happened to him; he had abandoned her. Her parents were gone and she had begun to think that she must be cursed if she had to endure this life and the insults to which she was subjected.
From downstairs, she could hear her uncle speaking loudly in an overly affectionate tone to get the Colonel to stop barking. He commended his pet for being the perfect watchman and soldier, all the while ignoring his wife’s summons from upstairs.
Tessa chose that as her moment to leave.
“You bring nothing but bad luck!” Sophie followed her halfway to her bedroom.
The moment that Tessa could step inside her room and quickly lock the door, she did so. She would skip dinner tonight if she had to just to avoid any more conversation about what had just happened. She would skip the next three meals if that would help.
Tessa crossed the small room to her bed and flung herself on it. She pulled a pillow to her chest and hugged it as tightly as she could. Only then did she allow the tears she had been holding in to fall. Only in the solitude of her room did she let go of it all and allow herself to feel everything.
It was not until her eyes were red-rimmed and swollen that she looked up again – and happened to catch sight of herself in the mirror on her vanity. Her hair was a mess; parts of it had come down from the updo that had been styled on her head this morning by her maid. Her brown hair used to be a point of pride for her and now it was thinning over the scarred side and did not sit as prettily as it once had. Her blue eyes were still the same – her aunt said she ought to be grateful for that. She supposed she should be grateful that she still looked mostly human and that she had not lost any of her limbs, but Sophie made it nearly impossible to feel grateful for anything at all.
Nearly half of Tessa’s face was ruined, dimpled, and scarred by the burns from where the fire had killed her parents and destroyed her family home. Her father had given his life to save her and that was yet another weight that she carried with her. If only he had been less occupied with her then perhaps he might have been able to save himself.
Even now, standing in her room, she could feel the heat on her face. She could still hear the screams. It had not felt like she was the one screaming, not at the time. She had screamed herself hoarse and had not been able to speak for weeks. Not that she had wanted to say anything after the incident. What was there to say? It had been three years now, but the pain was still raw.
The bodies of her mother and father were recovered. What was left of them anyway. There had not been any sign of her brother, and it was quickly discovered that he was not inside the house. Some of those who witnessed the fire had proclaimed that they had seen a man outside of the front door attempting to put out the fire, but it was too far out of control. The constables had decided that it must have been Mortimer, her brother, and so concluded he was the one behind the act of arson.
Tessa was the only one who believed her brother innocent. She knew her brother; he was too young at heart for his own good at times, but he was kind and generous. There was not a malicious bone in his foolhardy body. He was not capable of the things they wished to blame on him.
They said she was too overwrought with grief to be trusted.
