Page 28 of The Scarred Duchess Deal
“Yes, my cousin has been in a rather fine form as of late. I think it was her strategy to cling to me like a barnacle until our final day here so that I could be sure to have as little fun as she is currently having,” Tessa agreed.
“My, my, what would she think if she knew I snuck into your bedroom at night and stole all of your clothes right off of you?” Leo taunted.
“Why, I am certain that she would consider that a great personal failing. You see, I do believe that she still thinks that you will give up this charade at any moment and run away into the sunset with her, never to be seen again.” It was hard for her to continue the conversation when his lips found their way to her neck. It was easier and easier to give herself to him. She anticipated his presence; she craved his touch in any capacity that she could get it. It was an addiction of a very acute kind and one that likely would end just as badly as all other addictions tended to.
They still had not spoken about any of the things they were doing. She always intended to. She meant to confront him about what would come next for them – but then he would kiss her and render her incapable of speech.
Perhaps she did so because she was afraid of what his answer might be, what he might say. She knew very well that was the reason that she tended to kiss him when he spoke of anything nearing that serious subject. Tessa and her family were due to return home the day after tomorrow. Their time was almost over, and she simply wished to relish what little they had left of it.
It was also unspoken that their investigation would continue once they returned to the city. Which, once concluded, would also mean the end of their arrangement entirely. She was dreading it. The whole idea forced the unwanted question of which she would rather: keep Leo or find her brother.
But for now, she had this.
“I cannot think when you do that.” Her words were stilted and breathy as she giggled an empty protest.
“Yes, well, it is the only time that I feel I am thinking clearly. You shall simply have to suffer for my purposes then,” he said between kisses. “How fortunate for you that it is a very sweet sort of suffering indeed – is it not?”
Tessa made a show of playfully scrunching up her nose and rolling a shoulder. “Tolerable, at best.”
“Is that so? I suppose I shall have to try harder then.” Only, instead of lips against her neck, it was teeth.
“Wicked!” she gasped as her knees went weak. She would never understand how such simple things could have such an overwhelming effect on her body.
“You love it,” Leo responded.
Tessa laughed. “I love you – that is not the same thing!”
Leo froze. It was not until he stood to look at her that she realized what she had said.
“No,” she blurted instantly. “That is not what I meant to say. I do not.” She laughed nervously. “I do not love you; that is absurd. What a silly thing to say. Wholly and totally by accident.”
Leo’s expression softened, and then flickered to one of concern. “Accident?”
Tessa nodded, her eyes wide. Her heart hammered in her chest for a whole other reason. “Mmhm. A slip of the tongue, nothing more.” She could not read his expression. It was maddening.
“Is that right?”
Was he disappointed? Was that disappointment that she heard in his voice? It could not be. She was not supposed to love him. This was an arrangement; it had turned out to be an arrangement of a different sort than she had been expecting, but it was an arrangement all the same.
Leo’s hands fell from her and he took a step back. Tessa hastily righted her dress and shifted anxiously.
“I did not mean to ruin the moment – honestly,” she said but could not meet his eyes as she spoke. She plucked at the skin around her nails, hoping that he would laugh. She wanted him to do something…anythingthat might break the weight of tension now falling around them.
“So, you do not love me?” Leo asked flatly.
“What? Of course not. I have just said that.” Tessa forced herself to look at him. “Are you… upset with me?”
Leo could not have named the way he felt about anything in the world. He knew that she was lying. It should have made him blissfully happy that she felt the same way about him as he felt about her. He knew that she was only denying the claim out of respect for his feelings. It was due to their arrangement… but the accidental confession suddenly made everything that much more real. He should laugh it off and resume their activities.
He should tell her that he loved her too.
He should confess everything right this very moment and kiss her. Now. If only he could carry her away from this place and wed her this very day – not waste another single moment before he could claim she belonged to him and only him for the rest of his life.
But even that fantasy was overlaid by the voice of his mother in his head.
Swear to me, Leonard. Swear to me that you will end his cursed bloodline. Promise that you will never make the horrible mistakes that I was forced to make, Son. Swear it – never marry, never sire an heir.
They chanted in his mind like a mantra turned to a curse. Here he stood – looking into the eyes of the woman that he loved, the perfect woman for him… and he was bound. Helpless. He could not break his oath. He hadsworn. Was his word to mean nothing? Even if he broke the oath and proposed, his word would never mean anything ever again. How could he trust marriage bonds when he would be an oath breaker?
