Page 13 of The Scarred Duchess Deal
ChapterEight
“Oh, forgive me. I do not mean to lose my composure, Your Grace, but I cannot remember the last time that I have been so happy.” Tessa wiped a joyous tear from the corner of her eye as she struggled to get control of herself once more.
“Do not apologize to me for it. I am happy to see you laughing. Are they always like that?” Leo asked.
Tessa nodded. “Or worse! Oh, if I keep thinking about it or replaying the conversations in my head, I am going to start laughing again.” She waved her hand in a gesture that signified that they ought to start walking. She was beside herself. “I always wondered if I was simply being intolerant of their actions or if other people would find them as wholly ridiculous as I find them! I am so pleased that I am not the only one with that opinion.”
“It was… an experience, to be certain. I cannot say that I am looking forward to encountering them as a whole unit again but I can already say that I have a favorite out of your uncle's five stories. I think he recounted the same one three times and each time it was slightly different.” Leo chuckled.
“You will note that they tend to get more and more fantastical as time goes on. He will play bigger or smaller roles depending on his mood. Sometimes he speaks as if Colonel is actually present in the stories, despite the fact that he is only just three years old and was not alive during the war. I suppose that it is only his version of the glory days and thus, he is eager to remain present in those memories,” Tessa agreed as they started to walk around the edge of the park.
The lake in the center caught the sunlight prettily. Ducks and other small birds went about their daily lives as a soft breeze rustled the leaves in the trees. Tessa could not have asked for a prettier afternoon. It was far easier to ignore the stares and lingering glances of the people that passed them when there were so many distractions.
The handsome man on her arm did not detract from her mood either.
“I hate to change the subject so drastically, but as they have only sent a maid to be your chaperone for this walk, I presume that one or more of your family members will make themselves known sooner or later. I am unsure as to how much alone time we shall actually be afforded,” Leo said.
“I have no doubts that they will keep their distance so as to properly encourage our affection for one another. If you were not a duke, then they might have intruded more quickly. Fortunately for you, I think that they might hold themselves at bay for at least a little while. Was there something in particular that you wished to discuss?” Tessa inquired sweetly. It was just as well that she would not spend too much time in the direct sunlight as it tended to affect her scars negatively if she lingered for too long. The harsh rays would dry her already thin skin, making it far more prone to sunburn.
“I only wished to begin our search for your brother. Have you any ideas of where he might have gone? All of those years ago when the subject came up he would express his desire to travel to me, but there were not any repeating destinations mentioned. I could not say that he would have liked to go to one place more than the other,” Leo offered.
Tessa deliberated for a moment as she tried to remember if there was a spot that Mortimer might consider to be special or any place that he would have valued over and above another. “I cannot recall any dream destinations for him either. He simply would state that he was sure the world was both exactly the same and wholly opposite no matter where he wished to go. It did not make sense at the time, but I suppose it does now.”
“What do you mean?” Leo asked.
“I only mean that my brother was of the opinion that one could find beauty anywhere in the world. No matter how exotic, beauty was abundant. He felt the same about the goodness of people. He would say that good and bad people could be found absolutely anywhere so he was certain that no matter where he traveled or what he saw, it would all be the same. Which is not at all helpful to our present mission,” Tessa explained.
“No, I suppose not.”
Silence fell between them as they walked for a bit.
“Perhaps the best thing to do would be to visit his study and see if anything remains that might be of use to us?” he suggested. “Even a letter or piece of one might give us some indication of where he might go. Travel of any sort takes money – he would have had to have arranged for passage, so perhaps there would be a receipt or bill of sale that might have somehow survived all of the misfortunes–” Leo spoke without thinking about how his words would be interpreted. He did not realize that Tessa had stopped walking entirely until he was several paces ahead of her. He doubled back quickly. “What is it? What is the matter?”
“This was a mistake.” Tessa’s expression hardened. He had offended her. He did not know how he had managed to do that, but he had offended her. Deeply, if her expression was any indication.
“What? Tessa, please – do not walk away from me.” He jogged to catch back up to her. She strode with such purpose that it was hard to keep up with her. “Where are you going?”
“I cannot believe that you could suggest such a horrible thing to me!” Tessa spat. She almost looked on the verge of tears.
A phantom knife twisted in Leo’s gut. He did not wish to be the reason that she cried. He could not stand it.
“Wait, Tessa – please… I did not mean–”
“To suggest that I return to the source of all of my painful memories? That I would somehow be magically all right to return to the place of my parents’ deaths? The place where I almost died? I cannot believe you. You might have a habit of speaking without considering your words, Your Grace, but I will not force myself to endure such torture,” Tessa rambled angrily without pausing. She was halfway back to the house before he successfully cut her off.
“I would never ask you to endure such a thing on your own!” Leo lifted his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I would, of course, be by your side every step of the way. I would offer to go on my own, but I have never been inside your family home. I would not know where to look.”
Tessa slowed and studied his expression carefully. She decided that he was not acting out of malice, but that did not ease the pain in her chest any. “No. I cannot stand it. I will never return there.”
Her family home had been left to her in the will. All of their property and holdings had, of course, been transferred to her brother until such a time as he was declared dead. As the constables were still searching for him so adamantly, it was also a way to ensure that should he attempt to touch any of the family money or handle any of the affairs, they would find him at once.
It was yet another reason why she was stuck as a ward of her aunt and uncle until such a time as they married her off or she decided to forsake her family name and claims – something that she was unlikely ever to do. She had no desire to live any other life, but she did not wish to be a burden to them either. They all understood that she was not going to get married – not with her deformities. It left her stuck in that house until she figured out what she truly wished to do with her life.
“Tessa, please – offer me any other solution if you do not like the one I suggested. Any other lead that I can follow, thatwecan follow together and I will take it. If you haveanyother suggestion on where to begin our search I will instantly discredit this one as a last resort. Tell me plainly, do you have any other options?” Leo asked.
Tessa hated that she did not. She hated that she could not come up with any other objection to his plan other than the fact that she was terrified to see the remnants of her family home once more. She had not been back since that night; she did not know what state it was in or if any single part of it had survived.
“I promise that we will only go when you say that you are ready, and I will be by your side every single second to help you through it. Does that sound acceptable?”
