Page 73 of A Bride for the Devilish Duke
His face was closed, and his eyes were hard again. Emma flung herself away from him, tears blurring her vision. She turned and ran, letting the trees envelop her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Damn her! Damn marriage and the ton, and damn them all! Including Harry, and most of all, myself!
“Emma, come back!” Damien groaned as she ran from him.
He made to follow, but his boot caught in a tree root that Emma had skipped over without looking. He fell, sprawling on his face and jarring the barely healed burn on his shoulder. He cried out in pain, dragging himself back to his feet.
Emma was lost to sight, swallowed by the woods. But he could hear her still, the sounds rapidly fading but not completely gone. He began to run towards the sound of flight, the crunch of broken twigs, and the rustle of grass and branches hastily shoved aside.
The air was uncomfortably warm beneath the canopy of trees, and sweat soon appeared on his forehead. It coated his bodybeneath his stifling shirt, waistcoat, and coat. He called out to Emma again, moderating his tone to not frighten her.
Damn myself to hell! Not her! Never her! I am to blame. My brother and I believed that our plan for revenge should come before everything. It cannot be worth it. I will not crush a pure, delicate heart such as hers for the sake of a heartless vengeance!
But he knew that he could not tell her the truth.
Not thewholetruth.
What woman would stand by a husband who admitted to willingly causing havoc and mayhem? To setting fires and destroying property. To basking in the flames and the awe-fuelled adrenaline that surged within him at the nearness to death.
What wife would accept a husband who placed himself outside the law and risked his very being for revenge?
Damien found himself hoping that Emma would be that wife.
Still, he had made a promise to Harry. Sworn an oath on the blood they shared. He could not break that.Wouldnot.
The sound of running water reached him. It had been in the background for a few minutes, he realized—a growing roar like a waterfall. Now, it was louder, almost immediately before him.And there, through the trees, stood Emma. She stood with her back to him, and as he neared her, he realized that she stood on the edge of a precipice. He slowed, coming to a halt when he had come as close as he dared.
“Emma,” he said gently, “come away from the edge.”
Emma shook her head. “I am not given to dramatic displays of emotion. I am not trying to trap you or force you to feel that which you do not. But... I can no longer live a lie for the sake of others.”
Damien swallowed, searching for a way to allow his heart to have its desire and to keep his promise.
“I do not wish to, either,” he placated gently. “Except for the lie that I must maintain for the sake of my promise.”
“To your late brother? Is it worth sacrificing your life for?” Emma demanded, looking at him over her shoulder.
“Without my honor, what am I?” he asked, spreading his hands.
“Is thishonor? To entrap me into marriage, to ensure my father's cooperation with the promise of financial help, and then to tear me into two? In truth, I am pulled between my family and my desire to be a wife to you. I tell myself that I can be happy with the pretense when we are in public. To see myself as others see me, your wife. But I am not, because I know it is a lie.”
“It is not a lie!” Damien exclaimed, “The feelings you have, I share. Have not those moments of intimacy proved that to you?”
“But they are just moments! Instances of weakness followed by weeks of coldness during which you disappear at night, sometimes for more than one night. Even Elsie is beginning to think you may be dealing with mistresses! I do not want to believe that. At first, I told myself I was ambivalent about the idea. Now, I know that I am not.”
“Moments are all that I can allow myself,” Damien replied, “there is a greater purpose at work than love. It has been my purpose since before I became Duke. I cannot let it go now when its fruition is so close.”
Emma looked back and down. Damien inched closer, glancing over the edge. The ground fell away to a pool far below, fed by a waterfall that gnashed over a cluster of rocks at its base. A fall from here would certainly lead to an impact against those rocks. Emma inched closer to the edge, tears staining her cheeks.
“You unlocked the door behind which I had hidden my view of myself as a woman. I wished to keep that part of me locked away forever after what...hedid to me. To deny it so that I would spare myself the pain of seeing the disgust I felt at my own body in the eyes of someone I loved. But you unlocked that door and allowed me to believe I could be desired. Then, you took it away. That is unfair. That is unbearable! To taste it and know I will be forever denied it…”
Before Damien could speak, she slipped forward, moving convulsively. Damien leaped and managed to snatch her about the waist. He twisted his body, flinging her back towards safety.
He tumbled to the ground, his wounded shoulder slamming into a protruding rock. He cried out, the pain enough to black out his vision for a moment. When he could see again, Emma was lying on the ground, staring at him with wide eyes, reaching for him.
Then he felt the ground beneath him begin to give way.
