Page 58 of Filthy Business
Inside was a padded brown envelope. I slid it open and found a medical report—and a white spiral-bound diary covered in colourful foil love hearts and stars.
My hands shook.
I opened the diary.
Flicked through the pages until I reached the date.
And I began to read.
29th June 2017 —
I can’t believe we got invited to a sixth-form party!! Exams are finally over and this is the perfect way to kick off summer.
No way can I tell Mum and Dad, though.
I’ve already picked the cutest outfit for it. I need to call Josie ASAP.
This is so epic!!!
5th July 2017 —
Josie won't speak to me. Her parents turned me away from the door. Mum won't stop crying and Dad? I’ve never seen him like this. I’m scared. I feel so numb and dead inside. I want to die, but I can't do that to mum and dad. I've done enough. I was so stupid. Should never have went to that stupid fucking party.
I hate him.
8th July 2017 —
Everything’s stopped hurting on the outside, but I still feel like a zombie from The Walking Dead. I just wander around feeling… nothing. The police came back today but not to help. They didn’t even look at me properly. Just stood there and said I wasn’t raped. That I seduced Luke Trentham. Like I wanted it.
Dad lost it. He threw the medical report at them and shouted until his voice cracked, but they didn’t care. They stood there like statues and said I’d taken the drugs willingly. That I came onto him, and now that I knew who he was, I was after his money. Like I planned the whole thing.
They said if I didn’t drop the charges, they’d press charges against me.
Luke’s mum gave Dad a letter. He tore it into pieces and let it fall all over the floor. Like snow. I just watched it. I didn’t move.
After they left, I listened to Mum and Dad shouting. They sounded like strangers. Then Mum started crying. I could hear it through the walls.
I went into the bathroom. Picked up Dad’s razor. I didn’t even cry. I just stared at my wrists for ages. I didn’t do it. I’m so weak. I’m soweak. So fuckingweak.
19th July 2017 —
Dad sat me down. His skin looked grey, eyes red and hadn’t shaved for such a long time. We’re moving out of London. Leona Trentham got my dad fired. I cried for myself, him and mum. I kept telling him how sorry I was. Remembering how angry he got when he found out I lied and went to the party.
In the end, he lay with me, holding me so tight that I could barely breathe. He said to me that he was sorry he couldn't get me justice. That he couldn't protect his little girl. That was the only time I ever saw my dad cry and it broke me.
24th July 2017 —
It took me by surprise. I don't know why. The online campaign of abuse. I was called every name under the sun. There were so many names, pictures, abusive words that they all blurred together. I never whispered a word to my parents. They already had too much to worry about. Money, the mortgage for the house, selling and moving. Every day I hated myself a little more. I did this to us.
16th August 2017 —
The bitch put a hex on my dad. He can't get a job anywhere. I looked the rich bitch up. They look like a perfect family but no one can see their horrid fucking rotten souls. No wonder Luke was a rapist bastard. Entitled little cunt.
I fucking hate them. I hope they all die. Fucking painfully.
2nd September 2017 —
New flat, no more house. New school and another birthday. My mum tried her best. 16 today. In London, I had so many ideas on what to do, who to invite. Life is pretty fucked up. I barely remember the girl I used to be. Mum said I’m all skin and bones now. I dunno. I just don't care anymore. I mean what's the point, right? Josie bowed out. She knew!
