Page 95 of Want It All
I slipped from the bathroom and into the kitchen, opening the fridge. We had every snack known to humankind –thank you, Tristan– but they were mostly sweet. There was nothing savoury other than artisan cheese and crackers, and dairy wasn’t the best idea during a heat. Sandwiches or wraps would be better, or a roasted vegetable salad. There were plenty of energy drinks, at least, and about a hundred bottles of fancy water, because Tristan didn’t like the way the Banksia water tasted.
I’d made fun of him, but I was glad for it now. I stuffed some bottles into the freezer and made sure there were plenty of others in the fridge.
I called Tristan again, but he didn’t pick up. I brought up the Banksia app on my phone and ordered dinner to our room, selectingillnessfrom the dropdown of reasons, and noted that Sebastian and I seemed to have the flu and might need our meals delivered for a few days. I didn’t know if there was a limit to it – surely they’d send the on-campus doctor if it went for too long – but we’d cross that bridge when we got there.
I made my way into the nest. I’d already closed the blinds against the lightning, so I turned on one set of fairy lights – the smallest ones that threw the faintest light. I’d seen Sebastian’s usual coverlet in the hallway and noticed that Tristan’s now covered the bed; my heart ached for Sebastian, building his nest alone, not knowing what was happening. There were untouched snacks on the bedside table already, so I left them where they were. I fetched a couple of drinks to put next to them,then checked that all the food was wrapped up tightly so that Sebastian wouldn’t be affected by any errant smells. I had a flashback to my heat, when one of the heat alphas had eaten something garlicky earlier in the day. I’d almost thrown up and Ilovedgarlic – in normal times, at least.
I was relieved Sebastian would never experience that. He wouldn’t know what it was like to be naked and vulnerable with strangers, even if they were professionals. He wouldn’t know what it was like to accept someone he’d never met before into his body, wouldn’t beg a stranger for a bite. He’d be touched by familiar hands, loved and cherished by the alpha he’d chosen and his own scent match.
I loved him, I realised. It seemed insane to say so – which was why I hadn’t voiced it yet – but I didn’t understand howanyonecould meet my omega and not fall head over heels. He was my scent match, and the way he’d looked at me in the last few weeks … Who could blame me for losing my heart? The warmth of my love for him settled easily next to the pleasant, comforting ache I felt for Byron, the feelings surging together like the tide.
I was keeping space there for Tristan, too. We hadn’t talked about it, but he’d shown me that he cared for me, holding me when I cried, stroking my hair when I’d had a nightmare, claiming me as part of his pack. It would be an honour to have him as my alpha.
I called him again, but there was no answer.
I went back into the bathroom. Sebastian’s cheeks were flushed bright red, and his hand was wrapped around his cock. He pumped it slowly, but I knew it wasn’t because he wanted to draw out the feeling; he was going slow because it was painful to touch.
‘Hurts,’ he grated out when he saw me. There was no embarrassment that I’d caught him like this; I wasn’t sure that Sebastian was acquainted with the feeling at the best of times,and we’d fucked too often over the last few weeks for him to feel shy. I knew what made his cock twitch, what made him moan, what made him shake.
‘I know,’ I answered, and knelt beside the bath to stroke his wet hair back from his face. ‘How are the cramps?’
‘Getting worse.’ He leaned into my touch. ‘Do we have any paracetamol?’
Tristan kept a small pharmacy over the fridge, but I knew it wouldn’t have an effect, unless it was placebo. ‘I’ll get you some.’
He caught my hand when I tried to leave. ‘Where’s Tris?’
I bit my lip. ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘But I’m sure he’s on his way back.’
It was a white lie – if Tristan had seen my texts, then he was definitely on his way here – but it was a lie, nonetheless. I hated it. Worse, I knew that Sebastian would need his alpha soon, and if he didn’t have Tristan, he might go looking for someone else with a knot or a latch.
Thunder crashed with an echoing boom, startling us both. ‘I’ll get you some paracetamol, then I’ll go and find him,’ I decided. It was possible, I supposed, that Tristan’s phone could have run out of battery, or he could be in one of Banksia’s odd dead spots, where Wi-Fi dared not tread. I had a feeling Tristan would rather die than miss a moment of his omega’s heat, so really, I’d be doing him a favour, too. Sebastian was still decidedly in the pre-heat phase, so if I had to leave him, now was the time. ‘Will you be okay without me for a bit?’
Sebastian nodded. I didn’t think he wanted me to go, but he wanted Tristan just as much.
I found him some painkillers and took them and an energy drink to the bathroom. I could tell from Sebastian’s temperature that the now-lukewarm bath was what he needed, so I didn’t offer to change the water. He pulled me down for a kiss, his hand still wrapped around his cock, and shuddered through a releasethat I knew would feel like pins and needles. I held him as close as I dared as tears slipped down his face.
‘It won’t be like this for long,’ I promised him.
It would soon be worse, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.
I changed my clothes – including my underwear – then sprayed myself with scent canceller. I turned up the air purifier before I left the apartment, locking the door behind me.
I called Tristan again, but I might as well have left my phone behind. ‘What’s the best way to do this?’ I muttered to myself as I ended the call. I made my way to the central staircase and paused there, thinking.
Class had ended twenty minutes ago. Banksia manor was huge, but Tristan was more likely to be in the First Year Library, a study room, or the dining hall than the laundry, the rec room, or the pool. He’d usually be on his afternoon walk, but it was dark as night and the sky was flashing with sheet lightning, so I doubted he was outside, especially as I could hear heavy rain pelting Banksia House’s watchful windows.
I decided to start at the top and work my way down.
He wasn’t in any of the third-floor study rooms, and nor was he in the First Year Library or the common room. I even checked the PhD common, and got a bunch of dirty looks in return.
I made my way down to the second floor and ducked behind some bookshelves when a third-year alpha gave me a lingering stare. Tristan wasn’t in that library, either, and nor was he in any of the study rooms, or the media rooms.
I checked the first floor, then headed to the ground level, checking the dining hall, the pool, and the gym. I even ducked my head into the kitchen, though I backed out again swiftly when one of the chefs eyed me dubiously.
I didn’t find Tristan anywhere, but Ididfind Pravin and Chul in the public common room.
‘He went outside,’ Chul said.
