Page 80 of Dark Space
I turned Callan’s face to mine and kissed him. He returned it passionately, cupping my cheek with a tenderness I hadn’t expected. ‘I like this,’ he said.
‘I’m not Alcide,’ I answered.
He stilled, then pulled himself off me, grimacing. ‘Fuck, Vesper.’
‘I just –’
‘Iknowyou’re not Alcide,’ he said fiercely. ‘I can tell the fucking difference, starling. Dread gods forbid anyone hasfeelingsaround you.’ He pulled his uniform back over his shoulders and fastened it up.
‘Callan –’
‘I have work to do,’ he said dismissively. ‘Thanks for the orgasm, asshole. You can see yourself out.’
‘Cal, I’m –’
He held up a hand. ‘I don’t want to hear it, Vesper. Get out.’
I frowned and dissolved, reforming in Alcide’s bedroom.
Anna was on the bed, reading. She started when I dropped down beside her, but managed not to shriek.
She was learning quickly.
She studied me for a moment. ‘You look sad.’
I poked at my face. ‘Is that what this is?’
She bit her lip. ‘What happened?’
My brow creased. ‘I think I was an asshole.’
‘Vesper, sweetness, you’re going to have to be more specific. You’realwaysan asshole.’
I cleared my throat and poked her in the ribs, an action that made her squirm. ‘I was an asshole to Callan.’
She touched my cheek. ‘And now you feel bad.’
‘Is that normal?’
She gave a soft chuckle. ‘Yes, Vesper. It’s normal. You upset someone you care about.’
‘How do I make it stop?’
She put the book aside. ‘You need to make up. Make him happy again.’
‘Anna, I’m not in the business of making beingshappy. Rather the opposite, in fact.’
‘Callan isn’tjusta being. He’s part of your family. Part ofourfamily.’ Anna rubbed her chest, over her heart. ‘I know who you are, Vesper. I’d never ask you to change. But I love Callan, and I love you, and I think you like each other, and there’s a good chance that with time, thatlikingwill turn into something deeper, if it hasn’t already. He’s not a mark. He’s not someone you’re playing, not someone you’ll leave behind. He’s yourfuture, Vesper. If I’m your lodestar, then Callan and Alcide are your moons. They’re part of your night sky. You need to start treating them like they matter. Like they bring you just as much light.’
I swallowed, then pulled her into my arms. ‘Were you always this wise?’
She laughed and kissed me; I felt something swell inside my chest; it might have been joy. ‘I’m not wise. I just read a lot of books.’
I stared down atNatare, uneasy. I wasn’t used to seeing so much water; Scytha was largely a land-locked planet. Our seas and lakes were small and dead, which was part of the reason our species had been so fixed on expansion. If we couldn’t get help cleaning our water and nourishing our soil, Scytha would be nothing but dust in two Roth lifetimes.
It was just another reason that thishadto work.
‘Ready?’ Alcide murmured.
