Page 65 of Into Orbit
She shook her head. ‘I am whatever the universe made me,’ she said. ‘Nothing magic about it.’ She laced her fingers through mine and held our hands up, studying them. ‘Well,’ she went on. ‘Nothing magic butthis, anyway. But this feeling. Butyou, Maeve.’
‘The Human and the Hamadryad,’ I said. ‘That’s what Ashton and Willow call us. Like we’re a fairytale.’
She smiled and shook her head. ‘The Human, the Hamadryad, the Doctor, and the Warrior,’ she corrected. ‘Not a fairytale. Afamily.’
Whentheshipenterednight mode, I waited patiently for Maeve to fall asleep, snuggling into her neck like I always did, breathing in the sweet musky scent of her. It took an hour or so for her body to relax and for her to give the adorable snuffling snore that signalled she was deeply asleep enough for me to move and not disturb her. I didn’t mind the wait; I loved the quiet moments between us, the moments when I would open my eyes to see her studying my face, the moments where she stroked my hair like I was the most precious thing in the world, the moments where she whispered her secrets to me, and I gave her mine in return.
I kissed her cheek gently and carefully disentangled myself, rising from our bed to pull a robe over my slip.
‘Where are you going?’ Adair demanded, the moment I stepped out the door.
‘None of your business,’ I answered shortly.
He studied my face for a moment. I tensed, waiting for a cruel remark about Ashton, or a leer.
‘Fair enough,’ he said instead. ‘But your mother will kill me if I let you go alone.’
‘Is someone in the Forest?’
He nodded. ‘Dale and Thorn.’
‘You can come with me then,’ I said ungraciously. ‘But I don’t know how long I’ll be.’
He gestured with his staff. ‘Lead the way, Lady.’
I tamped down my surprise and strode down the dim hallway; Maeve’s words must have actually had some effect.
I hadn’t bothered with shoes, padding barefoot through the deserted corridors. The ship never fully slept, but it was quiet after Ashton’s arrival. My mother had ordered Pods to the coordinates he’d entered into the system but had been unable to send, but only to observe; they should have been almost arriving, and I imagined that everyone who was still awake would be glued to their screens, watching the livecast.
I couldn’t think of anything worse. My imagination ran riot, seeing Willow’s lifeless body floating in the depths of uncaring space, ejected after he served whatever purpose the Roth had taken him for. I choked back a sob, hurrying my steps.
It was odd being in the clinic without Willow; it seemed wrong, somehow. It had never been cold before, or sterile, but it was both now, without Willow’s calm warmth. The ship’s Second Doctor, Cedar, was dozing at Willow’s desk, their waist-length hair caught back in an intricate braid. Cedar started in surprise and blinked at me as the door slid closed.
‘H-Hamadryad,’ they stammered. ‘Lady. I wasn’t expecting anyone else tonight.’
‘I just want to sit with Ashton for a while. Is that all right?’
Cedar collected themselves and nodded, gesturing to Willow’s examination room, just past the decontamination cubicles. ‘He won’t know you’re there, just as a warning. But you’re welcome to stay as long as you wish.’
I swallowed down my nerves, though I couldn’t stop wringing my hands.Courage, I told myself.Courage.
Ashton lay in a medical bed, shirtless, the light blanket bunched around his waist. I took one look at him and my head began to spin; I turned around, fighting to catch my breath.
If he looked like this now, then Ineverwanted to know what he’d looked like when he got back. Maeve had been right to block my gaze.
One side of his face was covered with the fibrous green stitches used by Tirian doctors as a last resort. Our species generally healed so swiftly that sutures were entirely unnecessary; doctors only used them in the very worst of cases, where there was so much damage that the body didn’t know where to heal first.
Ash’s face wascoveredin them.
Cedar had shaved some of his beautiful hair, taking it from the temple downwards on the damaged side. The collarbone on the same side was covered in sticky, viscous healing paste, and the arm below was in a sling.
Tears slid down my face. He looked hurt, but even worse, he lookedvulnerable, and Ashton wasn’t supposed to look like that. He was always bigger than everyone else, always full of quiet confidence and sure strength. He’d been that way since we were saplings, my silent shadow, protecting me even when there wasn’t a threat.
That Ashton wasn’t here. Nor was the Ashton that stood vigil for hours beneath my heartree, or the Ashton who had made Maeve cry out in pleasure in the green shaded safety of the Forest. That Ashton had been chased away by this fragile one, thisbrokenone.
I sat on the stool next to his bed. The bed was made of the same material as the Pod chairs, and it moulded around his body. He’d be comfortable and warm, at least.
‘This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,’ I told him blankly. He didn’t stir. ‘Even before you were First Guard of the ship, you weremyguard. Do you remember when we were twiglets and we got lost in the home Forest? Our parents could hear us the entire time, but we were convinced we’d wandered into unknown territory, into another Forest’s heart. You had your tiny spear, and I had my tiny knife, and you made me walk behind you because I was the Hamadryad, and I needed to be protected. You were so proud when you got us back to the village. Our parents laughed, but I …’ I took a shuddering breath. ‘I was always grateful for you, Ash. I don’t think I’ve ever told you. I’m grateful for every moment you’ve given me, every day you’ve spent beneath my boughs, every night you’ve watched the Forest to make sure I was safe. I’m grateful for every time you’ve tried to make me laugh, every time you brought me food, every time you sat with me in silence. You’re part of my life, Ash, and the world doesn’t feelrightwhen you’re not near me.’
