Page 64 of Into Orbit
I closed my eyes and held Elswyth more tightly.
‘Willow isn’t here,’ she whimpered. ‘Maeve, Willowisn’t here. The doctorisn’t here.’
‘There are other doctors,’ I whispered. ‘Someone will help him. Cedar’s the Second Doctor. Cedar will help him.’
‘But not Willow,’ she sobbed. ‘Not the one who should.’ She tried to pull away from me. ‘I want to see him.’
I held her tight. ‘Not yet. When they’ve bandaged him up. Not yet.’
She’d resent me for it, I suspected, but there was no way I was letting her see. I’d take her resentment, and I’d take the image of Ashton’s caved temple, because Elswyth didn’t need that seared into the back of her eyelids for the rest of her life.
‘Come on.’ I pulled her back through the crowd, realising we were in the way. ‘He’s here. He’s home. They’ll do everything they can. We’ll see him once he’s stable.’
Leaving him there felt all kinds of wrong. A hollow pit of sorrow and fear spun in my stomach, but I had to get Elswyth away before she saw him.
I pulled her all the way to the Forest, because I knew she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. She wriggled out of my hold once we got there, sprinting through the green to slump against her heartree and stare blankly up into the black of space. ‘He can’t die, Maeve.’
‘I know,’ I said softly.
‘No, you don’t understand. Hecan’t,’ she said fiercely. ‘Do you know how old I was when Ashton became my guard?’
I shook my head.
‘I wasfourteen. A sapling. He was sixteen. And before he was my guard, he was myfriend. He followed me from Tir. He could have stayed, could have joined the forces on our home planet, could have stayed closed to his mothers and fathers. But instead he left – left everything he knew – to followme. To guardme.’ She swallowed, brushing a hand across her eyes. ‘He can’t die, because he’s been with me almost half my life. He can’t die because I – because I –’ She choked back a sob. ‘He can’t die because – no matter what happens between you, betweenus, whether we’re together, whether we’re a family or not – I don’t know what my world looks like without Ashton in it.’
I slid down next to her, taking one of her hands in both of mine. I didn’t know what to say. I refused to give her false assurances – I didn’t know howanybeing, regardless how strong, could live through the injuries Ashton had sustained – but I didn’t want to take her hope, either. Almost dispassionately, I watched the Forest shiver as it absorbed Elswyth’s grief.
‘Tell me how to help you, my love,’ I whispered.
She turned and blinked at me, startled. ‘My love?’ she repeated.
I shrugged. ‘I’ve been getting this weird feeling.’ I disentangled one hand and pressed it to my chest. ‘Here.’ I moved it down and splayed my fingers across the bottom of my ribcage. ‘And here. I couldn’t work out what the fuck it was. But I think you did, didn’t you? You knew before I realised myself.’
‘Yes,’ she whispered.
I took a shuddering breath. The world slowed around me; every sound, every leaf in the Forest, took on an almost-painful clarity. Beside me, Elswyth’s hair began to shine silver. ‘I still need to find Tessa, and if she needs saving, I’ll take her home. But I – but I –’ I steeled myself, trying to find the strength to say the words I’d never said before, the words I thought I’dneversay. Being theirkariawas one thing;lovingwas another, ahumanthing, the thing that was outside biology and magic – the thing that was achoice. ‘I think I love you, Elswyth. Actually, IknowI do.’
‘Oh, Maeve,’ she murmured. ‘I think you were always meant to be here.’ She pressed a kiss to my cheek. ‘I love you too. I’ll love you for as long as you’ll let me.’
I swallowed. ‘I think that might be forever.’
‘Then forever it is,’ she said simply, and lay her head on my shoulder once more.
A moment later, Elswyth began to sing. It was soft and low at first, a gentle, mournful melody, but as I listened, her voice gained power and I could feel the vibration of it through her slender form. The perfect sound – interspersed with clicks and growls – floated through the Forest; I rubbed my cheek on Elswyth’s hair.
Then froze.
Around us, everything wasglowing.
There was a barely-perceptible shiver of movement through the trees, though no breeze to cause it; the Forest was reacting to Elswyth’s song. Trunks and branches took on a deep, warm light, and the leaves were lit the same colour as Willow’s eyes. It looked like something out of a movie, and it was jaw-droppingly, unbelievably beautiful.
I held Elswyth close until her voice faltered and the song dropped away. The glow remained; we watched it slowly dim.
I didn’t think I could speak.
Sometime later, Elswyth rose and pulled me to my feet. ‘Come,’ she said gently. ‘It’s been a big day.’
‘You’re magic,’ I whispered to her. ‘You beautiful,magicalthing.’
