Page 54 of Into Orbit
I blinked. ‘WhereIam?’
The Captain growled under her breath. ‘You’ve been watching the stream of Willow’s kidnap for days straight,’ she said. ‘Over and over, you play the same thing. You pause it, you study it.Why, Maeve? What is it you’re looking at?’
I stared at her, my heart pounding. I didn’t bother asking her how she knew what I’d been doing; the Forest was being monitored more closely than the crown jewels.
Tell Maeve she’s the one we’ll always wait for.
‘I look at Willow,’ I said eventually.
‘And what do yousee?’
A bowed head, I thought.A bowed head, hunched shoulders, his beautiful long fingers clenched into fists, his knuckles green. His eyes desperate, his hair dishevelled from the gun.
‘I see his fear,’ I whispered. ‘I see his fear, and I –’ I stopped.
The Captain sipped her tea, waiting.
‘I see his fear in a way I couldn’t see Tessa’s,’ I said abruptly. ‘He didn’t want to go. His whole body was tense. He was glancing around, trying to find a way out. He was desperate.’
‘And Tessa wasn’t,’ the Captain said.
‘No.’ I inhaled. ‘No. She wasn’t.’
‘And now you’re afraid you’ve left your world, your life, everyone you love – but it was a mistake.’
‘No,’ I said, standing and pacing between the walls of the Captain’s office. I stared at a potted plant in one corner, its leaves curling before my eyes. ‘No. It wasn’t a mistake.’
The Captain’s mouth was tight. ‘You’ll still take Tessa back to Earth, then?’
What was Willow?
I rubbed my chest, something I couldn’t seem to stop doing. The warm feeling warred with a worry so deep and so complete that my brain could barely comprehend it; it was a strength of feeling only understood by my heart.
I’d been told that bonding was so intense that some Tirians believed it changed them on a fundamental level, as if the very reason for their existence shifted. Afterwards, they wanted theirkariaand their family, and no other. I’d been on the ship with thousands of Tirians for weeks, and felt nothing but polite interest.
What I felt formyTirians – for Elswyth and Willow and Ashton – was far more thaninterest, and it certainly wasn’t polite. What I felt for them was so strong that I couldn’t stay away – and nor did Iwantto. The notion of returning to Earth – returning to my normal life – and picking up where I left off was unthinkable. I didn’t want to go back to my gym, back to my apartment, back toAdvena. I didn’t want to go back to Saturday nights with no-strings hookups. I didn’t want to go back at all.
What was Willow?
He wasmine.
And he wasn’t the only one.
‘If Tessa wants to go back, then I’ll take her back,’ I said. I squared my shoulders. ‘But I won’t be going with her. Elswyth chose to call me her bonded. So that’s what I’ll be, for as long as she wants.’ I turned to the Captain. ‘And I want Ashton and Willow. I want all of them. I wanteverything. I want your approval.’ I swallowed. ‘Please.’
The Captain’s lips curled. ‘Are you admitting you’re theirkaria, Maeve?’
I pushed aside my stubborn pride. ‘It seems I was wrong. About that one thing, mind you. Not about anything else.’
‘I see,’ she said, amused. She sat back in her chair, then flicked an image from her desk screen to project on the wall. It was an official-looking document, with Tirian hieroglyphs imposed over some kind of seal – a graceful oak tree growing inside a star. ‘Lucky, then, that I was prepared.’ She gave a smile – one of genuine happiness. ‘The Tirian Grove has already approved Ashton for your family. You have both my personal and my official blessing.’ She raised her chin. ‘But if you hurt my daughter, Maeve, I’ll compost you. Alive.’
Some strong feeling coursed through me – relief and joy andhope. ‘Fair enough.’ I spread my fingers over my chest, trying to tamp down the warmth there. ‘I, um, didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.’
‘Time is relative,’ the Captain said. ‘Quick minds, quick hearts, and all that.’
‘Um, yep, that is … a thing. Best go and tell Elswyth, then. And ask Ashton, I suppose. I guess it’s a bit like proposing, isn’t it? I mean, it is forever.’
Forever. Me, having a forever.
