Page 15 of The Devil's Bargain
For years, he’d thought there was something wrong with him because of her. She’d beaten this sense of self-loathing into him, so deep it’d taken realizing she was a hypocrite who simply couldn’t accept herself to break him free.
“We are not good people,” he continued. “I don’t need for us to be. I don’t mind if Aodhan and I are the only two you ever care about. It doesn’t bother me that Aodhan has a weird obsession with measuring organs. I thought it mattered what other people thought about my person, but the reality is, I just wanted somewhere to belong.”
“You belong here,” Mercy said.
“So help me feel like that’s true. That’s all I’m asking for. I’ll give you my life, but I still need to feel like I have one.” Calix wasn’t used to sitting idly. He’d never had that luxury before, and while he understood it was possible for him now, that if he wanted, he could do nothing and live off of Mercy and Aodhan’s wealth, that wasn’t something he wanted.
Belonging to them was fine.
But Cal still needed some semblance of independence.
“You’ve manipulated and reprogrammed me,” he finished. “You got what you wanted out of it. Now I’m asking that you respect me enough not to do it anymore.”
Of course, there would still be occasions where it happened. Neither of them would be able to help it. Mercy was used to playing people like chess pieces. Even Aodhan wasn’t immune to that, and Cal wasn’t arrogant enough to believe he’d be any different.
“This relationship is fucked up. It’s built on toxicity, coercion, and lust. You have a Machiavellian personality, yet you claim you’d cut off your own hand before hurting me? Prove it.”
“This isn’t about having your own room, is it?” Aodhan surmised.
“I proved I could be what you want when I lured you to Alter,” Calix said. “Now it’s your turn.”
“Ironic that you’re using an example of your own manipulation.” Mercy’s emotions were a steady thrum through the connection. He was relaxed, but it was hard to tell if that was because he’d anticipated this conversation already or not.
“It pales in comparison to the lengths you’ve gone to.” He held up a hand and started ticking down with his fingers. “You planted an old article of me for Aodhan to find. You let Aodhan go on a murder spree to attract the attention of the I.P.F. Youhadto have used your Connect influence on someone in my department to ensure I got the case.” Cal had figured that one out on his own. “You bugged my hotel room. You let Aodhan attack me at the reunion. You—”
“I get it, Azi,” he drawled. “You don’t need to list each and every offense I’ve made against you.”
“But the one about you locking me up and using conditioning methods to basically brainwash me is the best one.”
“Is it really brainwashing if you’re aware of what was being done?” Aodhan asked.
“Since we’re on the topic of the I.P.F,” Mercy lifted his multi-slate and clicked on the screen, “perhaps this is a good time to tell you about the other thing I’ve done.”
“There’s more?” Calix’s device dinged and he checked the message he’d just been sent, blinking in mild surprise when he read the document attachment. “What…does this mean?”
“It means I used that influence of mine to wave your resignation letter,” he explained smugly.
“You shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want—”
“You aren’t going back to the I.P.F.,” he stopped him. “Why would I allow that? You’d be forced to live on another planet, away from us. No, keep reading. I’ve ensured you’re given the independence you were just saying you wanted so badly.”
Calix scanned the rest of the document, surprise growing with each sentence.
According to the document sent by his old captain, Calix was still a part of the I.P.F. as an agent. He was keeping his detective status and title, but was being transferred indefinitely to the Emerald precinct to fill the empty position left by Bruce.
“Bruce was the chief of police,” Cal murmured. “This says—”
“You’re a detective,” Aodhan replied. “And an adrenaline junkie. You wouldn’t be satisfied if we forced you into a desk job. Bruce rarely entered the field. That’s not the lifestyle you require to flourish.”
“We are aware of your needs,” Mercy stated. “Does this satisfy your doubts, Azi?”
“What if I don’t want to work as an agent anymore?” In the grand scheme of things, he was a pretty shitty one. Here he was, standing in the house of not one, but two murderers. A good member of the force would have turned them in for their crimes ages ago, not ridden their cocks enough times to be ableto feel the difference and know who was fucking him even when blindfolded.
“Then we can get you a job at the hospital.”
“What if—”
“Enough, Calix. Don’t push your luck.”
