Page 14 of The Devil's Bargain
Chapter 5:
“I want my own room.” Calix stood in the center of the hallway, in front of the door to the room he used to hate with a passion. Vesper had already darted inside and was currently making biscuits on the bed.
Mercy paused and turned. “No.”
“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.” Aodhan, who’d been following behind them both, propped a shoulder against the wall, clearly realizing they were going to be arguing about this for a while. “We sleep together.”
“I’m not saying I won’t sleep with you. I just…” Calix blew out a breath and looked away, trying to figure out how to best articulate the way he was feeling.
“You don’t love us,” Mercy ended up supplying for him, his tone even, expression enigmatic. It was impossible to tell visually how he felt about that, but there was a zap of disappointment through the bond.
Cal rubbed at the center of his chest uncomfortably and shifted on his feet. “I like you both. A lot. Obviously, since I just gave you my life.”
“But it isn’t love yet.”
“Can you blame me?” he asked. “We haven’t had many interactions that didn’t include me being locked up, or one of you fucking me. Love requires more than desire.”
“Experienced being in love before, have you?” Aodhan didn’t try as hard to cover up his feelings, the dark look he rested on Calix openly warning him he didn’t like that notion.
“No,” he reassured, “I’ve never been in love before, but you have. You didn’t fall for Mercy because he was good in bed, did you?” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m in this. I’m not going anywhere—” Cal lifted a hand and turned toward Mercy before he could interrupt. “—I know I can’t escape even if I wanted to. But you can feel it. I don’t want to. This isn’t about regrets or changing my mind.”
“You want partners, not keepers,” Aodhan surprised him by being the first to say. He rolled his eyes when Calix’s brow lifted. “I’m not completely heartless, Be’urn. I have some grasp on the concept of romance.”
“If dating is what you’re after,” Mercy said, “I believe you skipped over a few steps here, Azi.”
“If I’d told you on Alter I wanted to be with you, but I wanted to get to know you better before completing the bond, would you have listened?” Cal countered, and the director had the decency of not hesitating or pretending to think over his swift reply.
“Not a chance. You weren’t leaving that planet without those bites on your neck.” Mercy took a step forward and traced the curve of Cal’s left ear before lightly tipping his head to the side to expose the healing injury.
“These scars are just another form of branding,” Calix told him. “I think we should clear something up.”
“Oh?”
“I let you give me both. I let you brand me with your teeth and with those irons.” He’d wanted it. Had set himself up to becaught, even if he hadn’t been able to guess exactly what they’d do to him once they had him. “I’m not upset with either because I’m happy with the results. I want you to want me.”
“Careful,” Aodhan drawled. “It’s starting to sound like you’re dipping into rejection territory. Using us for our—”
“Dicks?” Calix turned to him. “Money? Influence? Yeah, because I am. So what if I want hot and powerful bond mates? With the two of you, I don’t have to worry about running or working or bending for anyone else ever again. If someone thinks they can treat me the way Sister Grace did, I know you’ll take care of them.”
“I’m definitely starting to feel used.” Despite his words, the easy, comfortable feeling coming from Aodhan through the connection made it clear he wasn’t angry.
“I’m not using you any more than you’re using me.”
“How are we using you, Be’urn?”
“You wanted a perfect energy match,” he reminded. “That isn’t easy to find. You also wanted someone who would accept you for what you are. Not many people would be okay with tying their life to a serial killer or a psychopath.”
“I feel love. Many would argue psychopaths aren’t capable of that emotion.”
“They’re coming out with new research on that every day.”
“You’re willing to be with us,” Mercy interrupted to get them back on track, “but you want space.” He clicked his tongue. “I gave you three months of it, didn’t I? Now you’re saying that wasn’t enough? You had time to discover yourself, come to terms with who you are, and make a decision. You chose us, Calix. You chose this. You can’t claim otherwise now that we’re finally here and trying to move forward.”
“I’m not,” he said.
“Getting to know one another, learning how this thing is going to work for the three of us, that’s something we need to experience. It can’t be preplanned.”
“Exactly my point.” He crossed his arms stubbornly. “The two of you are used to getting your way and already have a routine that works for you. My habits might not automatically align with yours, and I don’t want to be forced to give up any of this newfound ease. I’m finally comfortable with who I am as a person. I refuse to lose that because you’re hellbent on shoving me into a box that fits your impression of how a pod functions. I’ll let you own me, Mercy. But I won’t let you smother me. Sister Grace is dead, and I don’t need another figure like her in my life.”
