Page 84 of Love Me Like It's Real
Felix laughs and we turn our attention back to the middle of the circle where the couple are enjoying the spoils of their heartbreak and we put another one up before I return back to Felix’s side.
“Why not do this in the Smash Bus?” he asks. “It’s basically the same concept, isn’t it?”
“It is. It’s more accessible this way. And we can piss off a few committee members who think we’re the only ones who hate love,” I reply and Felix turns to watch the next person, pursing his lips and nodding.
He doesn’t say anything for a while and I worry I might have offended him but then he starts cheering people on, so I get over myself and try to enjoy the evening.
“Do you want to go next?” I ask him.
He looks at me with surprise. “But there’s a line.”
I shrug. “Special club leader privileges.”
“But I don’t have a photo.”
“Do you need one?” I raise an eyebrow.
His face tightens and his eyes turn to slits. “Hell no,” he answers and I hand him the bat.
He snatches it from my hand, rushes to the middle where there’s a brand-new piñata swinging from the tree and he slams it right in the middle. And that’s only the first blow. He strikes again and again and again, relentless and breathless until he smashes it into pieces. He gets the loudest applause of all.
“Airhead?” he asks when he returns to me with pockets full of candy.
I take the sweet and sour belt from him and wince from the assault of flavors in my mouth.
“That was awesome,” I tell him. “So sexy to watch.”
“Oh yeah?” He smirks. “When are you up?”
“Oh I don’t usually participate. I’m the organizer.”
“That’s bullshit. You need it. It’s so…so liberating.”
I shrug.
“Oh come on. You clearly have some deep-seated rage brewing inside you or else you wouldn’t have created so many rage room situations for your little club.”
I jolt and grab my chest as if I’ve been shot.
“You wound me when you call my club little,” I fake-cry.
He pats my back. “You’re a big boy. You’ll survive. Now go. Beat the shit out of that piñata.”
And when he puts it that way, how can I say no?
I grab the bat from Wells’s hand, stand in front of the piñata he’s just erected and bash the hell out of it. I let it all out. Jack and his cheating. The heartache. Being fooled again. Being so betrayed by assholes that I can’t ever enjoy love again. Not being able to nurture those feelings I know I’m developing for Felix. Hating the fact that my fear has stolen so much from me and still is. The fact that if it weren’t for my past I might be able to have something meaningful with him. And hating myself for even thinking that.
When the piñata splits in two, I drop the bat, walk back toward Felix.
“I need a drink,” I say, heading straight for The Striped Maple across the street.
“Are you okay?” He rushes to catch up to me and I can see the concern in his eyes but I don’t want to acknowledge it. I don’t want to acknowledge what he does to me and my resolve.
“I’m fine. It’s all part of the evening. Smash your ex’s piñata and get wasted at The Striped Maple. Didn’t I say?”
Which isn’t even a lie. We usually end up in one of the town’s bars, doing shots and shouting at all the loved-up couples.
But tonight I need to drink, because for the first time in a long, long time I want to be one of those couples.
