Page 7 of Promise Yule Be Mine
3
KODY
“How are you getting on with the wedding planning?” Milo asked.
The new chocolatier in town was one of the people I’d become friends with in the last few months. Partly because we used to be friends as kids, living in the same neighborhood and all, and partly because he was also now a business owner in the town, which brought all of us close anyway.
“Yeah. It…it’s good. We’re taking things easy. We don’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
I might have only been engaged for a month but I was getting used to answering this question diplomatically. I had to get used to answering everything diplomatically about my life from now on. Living in a small town was no joke. The rumor mill was tremendous and the last thing I needed was everyone getting in my business.Ourbusiness. I guess I was now a we.
If we were going to go through with this—and I didn’t see why not; I had made a promise after all—then I didn’t want our children to be looked at differently, or worse to hear whispersabout how Mommy and Daddy were weird and that they didn’t really love each other the way mommies and daddies were supposed to.
“Oh. Okay. There’s nothing wrong with a small wedding. You’re still getting married though, right?”
“Huh?” I focused my attention back to Milo and nodded emphatically. “Why wouldn’t we?”
“Oh. I…uhm…I don’t know,” Milo shrugged. “People change their minds all the time.”
“No!” I shook my head.
Had that come out too sharp? Too defensive?
“We haven’t changed our minds. We’re still getting married. We’re just not flashy people. That’s all.”
Milo nodded and smiled brightly.
“That’s great. I didn’t mean to offend,” he said and slid his hand across the table with a box of chocolates as if to apologize for probing.
I felt slightly guilty for snapping, so I took his offer as a way of apologizing myself. After all, Milo took his chocolates seriously and refusing them would only insult the poor kid further.
As soon as I picked up a caramel truffle, he glanced down at the box and with reddened cheeks he picked up a white chocolate one for himself.
He was a cute guy. Sweet and handsome. Not that we were short on sweet and beautiful people around here. But I knew, as with everyone I’d ever dated, that I wouldn’t be enough, even if I asked him out. Even if I asked anyone out. Which was exactlywhy this marriage was the best option for me. I could have my family and be content while not having to feel less-than in a pool of better, bigger fish than me.
“Have you set a date yet?” he asked after a couple more indulgences.
I had to admit, his product was delicious. Better than anything I’d ever tried before. Better than sex. But then again, everything was better than sex.
“We’re thinking Christmas Eve. Everyone is around for Christmas and the town is quieter so might as well kill two birds with one stone.”
Milo’s eyes widened and he froze for a moment but then nodded, but I knew that look. It was pity. Pity and confusion.
This was exactly why I didn’t need people knowing. Especially since they didn’t seem to understand the lie. Imagine if they knew the truth. I didn’t want to have to see that kind of look on people’s faces that said “aw you poor pathetic soul. You couldn’t hold on to a person and you just gave up.”
Even if they knew my dating history, they wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t understand the hurt and heartbreak I’d been through. Those feelings of inadequacy that always haunted me because of it. Those thoughts that I would never be loved because I wasn’t like other guys.
After another half hour of catching up and savoring Milo’s decadent instant hot cocoa, I left him to get on with his day and returned to The White Elephant that was just starting to pick up for the evening trade. No sooner had I stepped into the office I found Mom.
“You do know what retirement means, right?” I raised an eyebrow but hugged her anyway.
Even though it had been a couple of years since her and Dad had pulled back from the business, they’d both found it hard to let go. Which meant I didn’t just have to contend with running a very successful pub and all that entailed, I also had to contend with my staff still going to my parents for help and advice.
Not that I minded, but I was supposed to be running this place. It didn’t help if I didn’t know what was going on in it.
“I just wanted to check something,” Mom answered.
“And by something you mean double-check payroll was submitted.”
