Page 57 of Promise Yule Be Mine
I shook my head and before I knew it Niki wrapped his arms around me and I broke down.
I broke apart.
"What's going on, Kody? What's going on in that head of yours? Because from where I'm standing it's clear you like Nova. Why are you still putting up this charade?"
"Because…so what if I like him? You know my dating record."
"So? Just because you've had your heart hurt in the past it doesn't mean you will in the future. And if you like Nova?—"
"Okay, and what do you suggest, Niki? I break this whole wedding off, I disappoint Jenna and turn to Nova to tell him I want to be with him?"
"Why not?"
"Because what if he doesn't like me? What if he doesn't want the same thing? In fact, I know he doesn't."
Niki frowned. "Really? That's not what I see from where I'm standing."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean the way that man looks at you is what rom-coms are made of."
"Pfft," was all I managed.
"Oh really? Then why do you think I stopped trying to hit on him? Because he barely registered my existence at the Parade of Lights, and was hooked on you the whole time."
I studied my brother's face, looking for the shit-eating grin, the smirk, or just the glimmer in his bespectacled eyes, but none of it appeared.
Was he telling the truth? Did Nova like me too? Was it not all in my head?
I sighed. "What does it matter? I'm still getting married to Jenna. I can’t do anything about it."
Niki groaned. "Oh my God! You're obsessed. Jenna is your best friend not your actual fiancée. I thought you made this decision because neither of your love lives were going anywhere."
"We did," I said.
"Well, now you met someone you really care about. What's the point of going ahead with this fake marriage?"
Oh, how I wished I could listen to him. How I wished I could act on my feelings, reason be damned, but…
"I made a promise to her."
Nikita grabbed my face and forced me to stare at him. "What about the promise to yourself? What aboutyourhappiness? Don't just do this because Jenna is a hot mess who can't get her life in order. What if Nova is your one true love? What if he'stheone? Are you willing to lose him so you don't disappoint Jenna? Don't you think she as your best friend would want what's best for you? Don't you owe it to yourself to find out if there's something there before you entrap yourself into a loveless marriage?"
I stared at my brother, trying to find any holes in his reasoning. Trying to find any faults. But at that moment, I couldn't. I couldn't find anything wrong with what he said.
Except for one thing.
"But…what if I give it all up for him and he doesn't like what's left of me?"
Niki's face softened and he tilted his head to the side. "Well, Kody, that's the risk we all take with love. But you know what they say. No risk, no reward."
Right.
So it was either moving ahead with the plan and living with the constant what-if in my head, or setting it all on fire for a man who may not like what was inside.
Whoever invented love was a cruel, cruel person.
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