Page 77 of Clean Slade
Agh. Why am I so useless at this? What happened to Tony Ferraro Jr., who navigated this life with such ease and brilliance?
Oh. That’s right. He went into hiding like the scared little boy he was.
I could try and pretend I’d been a different man back then, but I’d just been a lonely boy wearing a mask and wearing it well.
“Earth to King! Do you copy?” Santiago waved his hands in front of my face as I sat at the desk, staring into empty space.
“Sorry. I got distracted.”
Tiago glanced from me to where I’d been gazing, an old dog sitting patiently at his master’s feet, and grimaced.
“I didn’t know you had a thing for dogs.”
I groaned, and he put his hands up.
“Fine. Fine. Jesus. I just came by to see if you want to have lunch.” He leaned in and whispered, “Hopefully, your in-laws won’t interrupt this time.”
I stared at my best friend and felt like the shittiest man alive for the hundredth time. I wasn’t the only one going through shit, yet as soon as I’d realized my father had found me, I’d neglected everything and everyone else.
“Sure. Let me tell the girls.”
We walked out of Furfection and down to the end of Main Street, where Bubble Bubble was situated by the port.
“If it isn’t my favorite two people on this island,” Hwan said when we walked through.
Parker, who was standing a few feet from him, coughed.
“Second favorite.” Hwan corrected himself with an eye roll, and Tiago laughed out loud. “What will it be today?”
“I’ll have the Oreo & Peanut Butter milk tea, please. With extra chocolate chips,” Tiago said and turned to me.
I hadn’t really been to Hwan’s bubble tea shop all that much since it opened, and I’d never been a big fan of tea, so I was lost.
“Are you a virgin?” Parker asked, and I glared at him.
“Excuse me?”
“He means a bubble tea virgin.” Hwan laughed and brushed Parker’s shoulder. “I told you, you need to be specific. You can’t just ask people if they’re virgins.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but it’s not like Parker was suggesting anything other than bubble tea,” Tiago interjected. “I mean, the man has a daughter, for fuck’s sake.”
I ignored both Tiago and Hwan and turned to Parker.
It wasn’t that far off the truth.
Annie had been my first. And it hadn’t taken long during our first time together to realize I wasn’t into it. Of course it was only after we’d finished that she’d told me she hadn’t been into it either.
But as fate would have it, even though we weren’t destined to be a couple, it hadn’t meant we weren’t supposed to stick together for our little angel.
So even though we were both gay, we’d decided to fake it. It was easier that way. Easier than living our truths. Truths that made everyone around us uncomfortable.
We’d lived our lies, led our secret lives, and at the end of the day, we’d always come home to our sweet Alessia.
It was living that lie for too long that had led to Annie’s death. She’d gotten clumsy and had said things she shouldn’t.
“What do you recommend?” I asked Parker.
He appeared like the sort of guy who had similar tastes to mine.
