Page 49 of Clean Slade
She was still hugging Slade’s stuffed crocodile. She seemed more attached to it than anything else. I wondered if it had anything to do with what had happened over the last few days and if it was her way of feeling less shitty.
If only I could look inside her little head and figure out just how many scars I’d created.
“Nothing. I wanted to check you’re still here,” she said, and my heart melted as a weight settled in the pit of my stomach.
I sat on her bed and took her in my arms.
“I’m here, sweetheart. I’ll always be here. Don’t worry.”
“Always?” she asked.
“Always.”
I whispered my promises to her, whispered reassurances and words I should say more often, just in case anything happened to me.
And even though I didn’t want to, I managed to fall asleep shortly after she did.
I only opened my eyes when I felt her stirring and found her sitting up in bed, watching me.
Exhaustion crawled under my skin and pulled at every muscle and joint, making me feel older than my age.
“Hey, sleepyheads.” Slade stood at the door with a grin.
How long had he been standing there?
“Slade! You’re still here!” Mac jumped out of bed and went to hug the big, friendly giant as I checked the time on my phone.
“Jesus. That’s late.”
It was well past eleven. Closer to midday than I cared to admit.
“You were tired. You needed it.”
And he hadn’t? He was the one who had driven all the way to Albany and back. I didn’t know how he’d done it. I guessed he was trained for this kind of stuff.
And then he thinks he’s broken. If this is what broken looks like, I’d love to be the same.
“Are you staying with us today?” The crocodile was practically attached to Mac at this point.
“Yeah.” He glanced at me and pursed his lips, asking me with his eyes if I wanted to break the news to her.
“Come here, sweetie.” I patted the space next to me, and Mac sat beside me. “Slade…he’s going to be staying with us for a while.”
She cheered and looked at Slade with the biggest smile in the world.
“Does that mean your stuffed animals will stay with us too?”
“Um, duh,” he answered, and she did a little jump.
“Slade’s going to take you to school, pick you up, and look after you when I’m at work.”
Mac’s smile turned into a grimace.
“What? I’m too old to have a nanny,” she said.
I frowned too.
“Um…are not.”
