Page 5 of Missing Linc
I’m looking at her now, and I can’t find the answers. What I do find are images of Camden walking into auditions, walking into class, being carefree and smiley, going through life with a spring in his step.
Why can’t I have that? Why can’t I be like that? Carefree and happy? Why do I have to keep convincing my girlfriend she’s paranoid and that I’m faithful?
“For the last time, they’re not after me. They’re my friends. They’re my colleagues. Lenka offered me a job. A. Job. A good one, too.”
More money than I’ve been offered before.
“Don’t even get me started with that crap. You need to get a proper job, Linc. We’re going to be a family. We’re going to start a life together. I can’t have someone with such unstable… hobbies,” she says.
And that, folks, is how my relationship comes to an end.
I don’t know what drives me to do it. I don’t know why now. I don’t know why this fight. But I have had enough. So I do it.
I take my keys from her, tell her to pack up, and that’s us over.
To my surprise, she doesn’t put up much of a fight. She doesn’t resist. All she says is: “I hope you don’t think I’m giving you the ring back,” and that’s about it.
I let her keep the ring.
It’s not like I have anyone else lined up to put it on. So she can take it. If that’s the hill to die on, I’ll move to a different hill.
It’s only when she leaves and the apartment is empty that I feel the brunt of what I’ve done. So of course, I go looking for my best friend.
The next few days, weeks even are hard but in a different way. Finding my sense of self again, knowing I don’t have to defend my actions, change my behavior—behavior I changed to please Makayla to start with—but eventually, I get into a rhythm.
Even if Makayla keeps messaging every few days.
“Have you calmed down yet?” she keeps asking.
“No,” I keep replying to her and that’s that.
So the next time Lenka asks me to go out for drinks, almost a month later, I do go out. Because why the fuck not? I deserve a drink with one of my best friends. I deserve to catch up with her. I deserve a good time.
“Have you heard back from that Ryder guy?” she asks me at the bar next to the studio.
Stone’s Bar isn’t anything fancy, but it’s got good music—classic rock—and cute waitresses, so it’s a great escape.
Lenka appreciates it, too.
“Not yet. But everyone else has confirmed,” I reply.
Even Camden.
I haven’t met up with Lenka for a couple of weeks. Most of the pre-production stuff can be done remotely, so the less time we hire the theater for, the better for Lenka’s pockets.
But we’re starting rehearsals tomorrow, which means I’ll be seeing Camden again.
Why do you care, dickhead?
Why do I care about him out of all the cast? It’s not like there aren’t any actresses to “lust” after. I may be single now, but he’s still a man, and I’m not fucking gay.
I need to get my head checked.
“You can fill in for his part tomorrow and hopefully he responds soon, or we’ll just offer it to the next guy,” Lenka says, and I nod in agreement.
We raise our beer bottles and clink them together in celebration. The start of a new partnership.
We go through a couple more bottles each before Lenka abandons me in search of her princess—or the waitress, as the rest of the bar called her—and I’m left to drink my sorrows away in my lonesome.
