Page 43 of Mother Parker
“I wish I’d realized sooner. That there had been a sign, or I’d have seen it sooner, so we hadn’t wasted so much time.”
“But you guys are still young. You’ve got a whole life ahead of you,” I said.
“Okay, Grandpa.” He smirked. “I’m sorry I don’t have a better answer. I have been thinking about it a lot, and this is still all…new to me, but if I’ve learned one thing so far, it’s that everyone’s experience is different.”
I nodded and tried to ignore the hard beating in my chest, hoping Maddox couldn’t hear it.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like…it’s not like I care.” I blew out some air, sounding like my dickhead self again.
“Oh…okay,” he replied. “Why did you ask then?”
“I…I was just wondering. You know. Because we never thought you were gay, and it came as a shock to everyone.”
Yeah,way to make it better,Parker.
Maybe I should take a vow of silence and keep my mouth shut. Perhaps that would help me get my life and relationships on track.
Maddox nodded and started climbing the stairs again.
I’d gone and done it again. Screwed it all up. Like I’d screwed up everything before. My marriage. My engagements. My family.
“Are you happy?” I asked before his feet disappeared in the gap on the ceiling.
He paused midstep.
“The happiest I’ve ever been,” he said, and then his feet were gone. “Goodnight.”
I stayed there watching the top step of the staircase for seconds, maybe even minutes, going through his words in my head and trying hard to push Hwan’s image out of my head.
I wasn’t gay, for crying out loud. I wasn’t.
I wasn’t like Maddox or Ash.
I was motherfucking Parker, and I wasn’t going gay because of a pretty young man with pink hair and a gorgeous smile.
ELEVEN
HWAN
The sun streamed down through the skylight, greeting me awake with its soft light, and I stretched my limbs, feeling relaxed and well-rested.
Sometimes I hated not waking up in my childhood room to the smell of my halmeoni’s cooking or the ceremonious snip-snapping of her tending to her garden. I missed not having my grandmother around like I’d had for most of my life.
But then I would wake up, make my own cup of tea in my own little slice of heaven by the pier, with my brand-new furniture and my cozy decòr that I handpicked, and those residual feelings would be replaced by the joy of finally having my own place in this world.
Not that I would ever openly admit that. I still loved Halmeoni a thousand percent, but I finally felt like an adult rather than a kid in a grown-up’s shoes.
I was glad she convinced me to spend my sperm donor’s inheritance. It had been haunting me for far too long. Even if he had been a shit father—a nonexistent monster who’d tried to destroy my mother—that didn’t mean his money couldn’t bring me some joy. And most importantly, it had stopped taunting me while sitting in my bank account like a hostile virus.
I climbed down the step ladder, opened the kitchen window to let some fresh air in, and put the kettle on.
After a quick shower, I brushed my teeth and applied my wig before returning to the kitchen and picking up my phone. I clicked on the app that had become part of my routine and checked my face and hair before clicking on the red button and starting a live stream.
My smile appeared naturally on camera as my feed started populating with viewers and friendly comments from my fans.
I didn’t say anything, just placed my phone on the mount in the kitchen and continued with my morning ritual.
I poured hot water into my glass teapot and cracked a couple of eggs over the frying pan.
