Page 69 of Fresh Start
I needed to find out what had happened. Get to the bottom of things. I couldn't bear losing Leo. Not on a misunderstanding, of all things.
I picked up my phone and called Alice. When it went straight to voicemail, I tried Tracy. She didn't pick up, either. Needless to say, by the time I was dialing Karen’s number, I didn't have much hope of getting an answer.
"I'm gonna kill someone," I muttered under my breath.
Since they weren’t answering, I went online. I googled my name, a task I didn't normally indulge in. The web was a dark place to be when you were famous.
Hundreds of results flooded the screen, and I didn't have to scroll far before I found what I was looking for.
Website after website had already posted about me becoming Death Knight in the first live-action adaptation. There was even a handful of articles about why I was the perfect choice for it. And a thread on Reddit about why I shouldn't portray Death Knight, what it meant for my future in the Detective Strong franchise, and what the role would do to my relationship with the production studio. The breadth of relevant posts shocked me. How was it possible that fake news had deluged the internet so quickly?
I found an article, an article from a reputable website that always cross-checked their references, and it was citing a source close to the actor. Which confirmed my suspicion.
Tracy and Alice were behind this bullshit. And I had no idea why.
All I had asked for was to get me into the production team. Alice had asked me so many times to start producing things and take the next step in my career, and this had been the chance I’d been looking for. The metaphorical kick in the butt. I wanted to be part of a production that meant something to me, and this one had double meaning because not only did I grow up with this character, but the guy I loved was in the running tobethat character.
This was a load full of crap. And I needed to fix it before it was too late.
I grabbed the phone and tried Tracy's number. Again, it went straight to voicemail.
"Tracy, I don't know what you think you're doing, but you need to fix this. You are ruining my chance at true love. You guys have ruined everything," I said, and before I said anything I was going to regret, I hung up.
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..."
Leo's words haunted me.
I could see it from his point of view. How it must look. When he thought we’d sorted out our issues from the past, history had to come and bit him in the ass and made it look like I was trying to steal yet another dream from him. As if I could ever do that.
Yes, I’d done that when I was twenty-one. But now? I would rather ruin my career than hurt Leo's. Bumping into him here and spending time with him, reliving the past, the good times, it gave me hope for the future. Something I couldn't say I'd had for a long time.
Maybe even since I left him to follow my then-agent to LA. If that first agent had achieved something, that was definitely to break any spirit I had.
Meeting Bryan and finding Alice had definitely given me some semblance of hope and normality, but the truth was, I wasn't happy. I might have had everything in the world: money, cars, houses all over the world, women proposing to me by any means possible on a daily basis. None of that had any meaning.
God, I was so pathetic. I hadn't had such grim thoughts since I was twenty. Back when I’d been foolish and inexperienced and…
In love.
I’d screwed up back then. Screwed up so badly that it had destroyed me for the next seventeen years. And now, I’d been given a chance by God to make it right, to make amends, and somehow, I'd still managed to royally fuck it up.
The room was suffocating me. I desperately needed fresh air and looked at the window, the night so inviting in its darkness that I let it draw me in.
I opened the balcony door and stepped out onto the beach, taking deep breaths and allowing the cool night breeze to reach me to the core. I had to fix this.
I looked up to the sky, looking for a star to wish upon, but found none. All of them mocked me with their brightness. Not that I was expecting any wishes made on starry nights to come true. This wasn't a Detective Strong film.
I made one anyway.
I wished for... for a fresh start. With Leo. For a way out of this mess and into his arms. Forever.
The sky remained unresponsive to my request, so with a heavy heart, I returned to my room. Sleep proved impossible.
My eyes felt heavy, but staring at the clock on the wall ticking away was all I could do. At four fifteen in the morning, I closed my eyes for a moment. Only a moment. I knew nothing would happen. My mind was too busy, my heart too pained to allow me any escape or relief.
When I opened my eyes a minute later, light had penetrated the room, and I had to shield my face. The clock informed me it was nine.
I got up and into the shower, feeling old. My body ached all over, the heaviness of last night's events reverberating through my bones.
