Page 65 of Fresh Start
I turned around and found Nathan running toward me. When he got to me, he took a moment to catch his breath before he straightened and placed his hand on my arm.
“Are you okay? What happened?” he asked. “Why did you storm out?”
I couldn’t tell him, could I? Dawson’s sexuality was his secret to reveal, and even despite it all, I still didn’t want to hurt him.
But what he did to me wasn’t a secret. Or it didn’t need to be. Not anymore. Not after I lost my big break. The chance of a lifetime.
Besides, Nathan was family. No, I didn’t know him yet, but that didn’t change the fact that he was one of us.
“I had to get out of there,” I said, and we walked down the road, destination yet unknown, as I told him what happened with Dawson. I tried to keep the personal stuff out of it, but Nathan was perceptive, so he read between the lines until I admitted to him what Dawson had meant to me. Both times.
“That sucks, man. I’m so sorry about that,” he said.
“So am I,” I said. “Worst thing is, I don’t know what to do now. If I go back to Mel’s, he’ll be there, and I don’t think I want to talk to him. And this whole thing with the role is a giant mess I don’t know how to unravel.”
Nathan stopped and put both hands over my shoulders, looking much wiser than his age.
“First things first. I'll go to Aunt Mel’s and pick your stuff up. You, go home and call your agent,” he said.
“It’s late—” I started to say, but Nathan cut over me.
“And this is an emergency. He’s your agent. He can find out what the hell is going on and if it’s true that Dawson already snatched up the part.”
“Look at you, all grown up,” I said, memories of him in diapers and a stroller coming back to me.
Why had I stayed away for so long? I’d missed out on so much. And for what? A stupid modeling career that never got me anywhere and a toxic band career that got me a drinking problem.
I might be closing on forty, but I was still a dumb kid. What would have happened if I’d come back years ago?
My relationship with my brothers would be much better, that was for sure. And I’d be closer to my nephew and nieces. I’d probably be obese with all the homemade food from Yaya too. And I could have been there for everyone when they went through shit in their lives.
Was it too late to mend my relationship with them now? Was it worth the try?
Dawson’s words came back and lingered in my head.
“You deserve to be forgiven just like you forgave me,” he had said.
Maybe he wasn’t worthy of my forgiveness, but I hoped I still was worthy of my family’s.
“You’re a good kid, Nathan. I hope we can be friends,” I told him.
Nathan raised an eyebrow and grinned.
“Yeah, me too. Might wanna start by not calling me a kid, though,” he said and elbowed my side.
“Touché,” I said, and we continued our walk until we diverged, him toward the beachfront and me, the family home.
When I got there, I found Yaya already back. Jeez. How long had my talk with Nathan lasted? Summer was already in bed for the night. And as soon as Yaya saw me, she rushed to make me a cup of tea and my favorite soup, despite how late it was.
“It’s nothing. Just some water, some egg, and a lot of lemons. It’s going to be ready in no time,” she’d said and got to boiling hot water in a pot while I nursed my tea.
She didn’t ask me what had happened, but I assumed Nathan had called them to let them know how I was feeling because not even Andy bothered to say anything spiteful to me. Instead, when the soup was ready, he sat down next to me, and we slurped together in silence.
“I’ve made your bed, so whenever you’re ready, you can go to sleep,” Yaya said, and she retreated into her room.
“You’ve got soup on your shirt.” Andy pointed at me, and I looked down to see how badly I’d stained Dawson’s gift, only for him to flick my nose.
“Ass,” I laughed.
