Page 33 of Fresh Start
There was no reason to open old wounds.
Nine
Dawson
Spending time with Leo and his niece at the butterfly conservation center had been a mistake.
If I hadn’t been certain before, I definitely was now. I was still in love with Leo. Being next to him and seeing what a beautiful man he still was. Despite everything that had happened between us, he was still the same sweet Leo who I fell in love with, one moment at a time.
I wished he didn’t hate me like he still did. There was nothing I’d love more than to be able to hold him again like I used to. Feel his skin on mine. Those juicy lips on mine. His long, thick cock in me.
It wouldn’t happen anyway. It was all just fantasy. Leo hated my guts, and not only that, but even if I did apologize, there was no way he would forgive me, let alone want to be with me.
Who would? He was out and proud and lived his life unapologetically. Whereas I was still a closet-case. A relationship with me could drive anyone insane. Hell, it was driving me insane.
After the tour, Leo took Summer back home, although not before she made me promise to go to the butterfly release together, which made Leo roll his eyes. It had been a full day, and I’d frankly had enough. I just wanted to be alone with my miserable thoughts.
Leo was always going to hate me, and I had to learn to live with it. I had lived with it for seventeen years. As soon as I was gone from Cedarwood Beach, I wouldn’t have to see him again, and he wouldn’t have to look at me anymore, either. It was probably for the best.
I locked myself in my room for the rest of the day, not even venturing out for dinner, and when my alarm woke me up the next morning, it was the proof I needed that I wasn’t feeling myself. I was always up before it. Not a good sign.
While the bed had been more than comfortable so far, I woke up with pain all over my body, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out it was all a physical reaction to my mental state.
My dreams had been all about my future and my past, the loneliness that always haunted me, and the sad life I was living. They certainly didn’t make for pleasant sleep.
I decided to start my day with a nice, hot bubble bath. New day, new slate was all I could think. I submerged myself in the bathtub, lighting a couple of candles that I found around the room, and grabbed my book.
The words were immersive, helping me find escape in the hands of a retired, grumpy detective hunting for the serial killer that had killed the love of his life. As absurd as it was, reading thrillers soothed me. They made me feel sane and alive.
When I checked the time, half an hour had flown by, and the water had gone cold. My skin had gone all wrinkly and the bubbles had burst, so I pulled the plug and gave my body a quick, hot rinse and came out of the bathroom ready for some breakfast and coffee.
I reached for the telephone in the room and tried to call reception before I remembered Melody was probably running around like a headless chicken trying to coordinate breakfast and ensure everyone was happy.
The woman needed a break. Or some help. Or both. She looked like a smart person, so I was clueless as to how she’d ended up so overwhelmed with a guesthouse where she had to spend day and night serving her guests.
The phone disconnected on its own when no one answered, so I returned it to its cradle. If I couldn’t have breakfast in bed, I’d just have to bite the bullet and have it upstairs. And if Leo was there, I’d just have to ignore him instead of facing my fucked-up feelings for him.
As I got up and put my pants on, starting to get dressed, my cell phone rang and interrupted the quiet inside the room. I grabbed my device and slid the answer button across the screen.
"Hello.”
"Hi, honey. How is the family?" Alice, my agent asked.
"Hi, Alice. The family is good. This break is just what I needed,” I said. “There’s even a butterfly festival, if you would believe it. Isn’t that the cutest, small-town thing you’ve ever heard?”
"Oh my God. Small towns? Festivals? Those things give me the creeps,” Alice said.
“Small towns give you the creeps? Why?” I asked.
I knew very well why. Alice was an LA girl through and through. There was no trekking into the unknown for her. Unless a destination had a Hilton or a Marriott, there was no chance it was her destination.
“Haven’t you read any murder mysteries, hon. That’s where all the psychos live,” she said, and I shook my head, holding a laugh in. “Aren’t you bored there?"
"As a matter of fact, I’m not. It's actually so nice and peaceful out here. And everyone’s so friendly.” Leo came to mind. "Save for a person or two," I added.
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing. Never mind."
