Page 28 of Fresh Start
Despite my frustration, I didn’t fail to notice how fruity his hair smelled and how smooth his face was up close.
"Listen, Leo, I'm sorry—" he started to say, but I didn't want to hear any more excuses from him.
I stood up and turned the other way, holding the pose a little bit longer and attempting to get some of the tranquility yoga usually gave me.
Yaya asked us to stand up and stretch out our limbs in a pose she called the Fun Ball. I choked up the urge to laugh. Again. Perhaps that was why she’d given all the poses quirky names. To make it more fun for those not experienced with yoga. And from the looks of it, Dawson wasn't experienced with it at all.
I’d have thought living in New York and having previously lived in LA, the hubs of Eastern appropriation, Dawson would be a pro.
Judging from his fingers touching mine as we both assumed the pose, he was anything but.
This was bullshit. I didn't know if Dawson was doing it on purpose or if he was really that hopeless, and at this point, I didn't care. I just wanted him to stop constantly getting in my way.
It took a lot of strength to sit through the entire thing and put up with Dawson's clumsiness and constant intrusions, and when Yaya finally sat down and decided to finish the class with a breathing meditation, I was thankful and also proud of myself for sticking through to the end.
She asked everyone to close their eyes and listen to her voice as she guided us.
I breathed in positivity and breathed out all the negativity. I took in all the wonderful energy of mother nature, and I let out the anger and frustration.
There was a giggle next to me, and I opened one eye. Dawson was choking up trying to do the exercise.
Immature. I shook my head and went back to my breathing, trying to keep Dawson out of my mind. Yet the man next to me was becoming so irritating that I had to breathe in and exhale louder just so that I didn’t have to listen to him.
Soon, I regretted it, because I was out of breath and could still hear the idiot sitting next to me. I opened my eyes and coughed. And Dawson's laughter became louder.
What was he? Twelve?
I knew I could keep going, but this was exhausting me when it was supposed to be relaxing me.
So, I got up and walked away, fighting the urge push Dawson to the ground on the way out.
I’d rather read a book or spend some more quality time with my niece instead of coming up with ways to get away with murder.
Once again, I promised myself I wouldn't let Dawson get under my skin. I just hoped, this time, I could keep that promise.
Seven
Dawson
There was some shuffling next to me, and I looked up just in time to watch Leo stomping off like a madman, walking away from the yoga class and out through the narrow corridor of the tiny cafe.
I gave up on the meditation and sat down on the yoga mat, watching the instructor take deep breaths and completely unaware of what had happened in the back row.
Not that I was any good at it. Considering I got the giggles two minutes in, there was no point in trying any longer. I wasn't entirely sure what it was, but I couldn't concentrate enough to accomplish anything during the class.
Well, that was a lie, and I was stupid not to admit it to myself. I knew very well why I couldn't concentrate, and it had Leo written all over it.
What had I done?
I was thirty-eight, for crying out loud, not a stupid kid. Yet, I’d acted like one. Not at first, of course. But after accidentally hitting Leo and seeing how much it frustrated him, how much my proximity did things to him that were the complete opposite of what he was doing to me, I lost control of myself and tried to piss him off even more.
But maybe I’d taken it too far. I always lost control of myself around Leo. It’d been like that back in college after we met and fell in love. And even though I’d been in the closet then, too, I still hadn’t been able to resist him. It was as if my body had a physical reaction being next to him that made me lose myself.
“You’re in meadow. You breathe in, and you’re in peace. You breathe out, and all the worry goes up in dust,” the instructor said, and as great as she’d made my first experience with yoga, especially with the funny pose names, I just couldn’t do it anymore.
It was impossible not to worry where my life was concerned and even harder to get any peace if Leo was upset with me.
For the third time in two days, I found myself in need of apologizing to the same guy, and since the count wasn’t going down any time soon, I’d have to start acting on that need.
