Page 74 of Your Only Fan
“They were old videos I’d been saving. I promise you. I haven’t slept with anyone but you for a while.”
That does make my chest feel a little bigger, and I can’t help it.
“It’s fine. It’s your job. I’m not mad about them or anything. I’m just… not sure I can watch you sleep with anyone else in the future.”
Am I sounding pathetic? Am I being petty? I really don’t mind what he does. I just can’t stand the thought of him kissing anyone else.
“I mean it. I’ll stop. In fact, consider it done,” he says and jumps off the counter heading out of the room.
When he comes back, he’s got his phone in his hand.
“Stop,” I tell him. “You don’t need to do it. You’d need to explain why first, anyway. You can’t just disappear.”
“I can. And I will. For you,” he says.
For me. That sounds nice coming from his lips. But what about him?
“What doyouwant?” I ask.
“You,” he says, leaning on me and putting his arms around my waist.
“I’ll take that, but what about your career? Do you like doing porn?”
He shrugs.
“I was getting tired of it,” he says. “But I loved doing it with you.”
If I had a nickel for every time those puppy eyes made my insides shutter and recompose… I’d be a millionaire. Well, that’s certainly a messed up analogy. But whatever. It’s how everything feels inside my head. All over the place. In a good way.
“I don’t want you to quit it for me. I couldn’t do that,” I say.
“I’m not. I’m doing it for me. For us,” he says.
I purse my lips and look into his beautiful grey eyes.
“But what will you do?” I ask.
He shrugs.
“I don’t know. I’ll find something. I have plenty of time to decide,” he says. “Thankfully I’ve made plenty of bucks, so I don’t have to worry for a while.”
I’m still not sure if I want him to give up something that he so obviously loves…
“Hey, I’m sure. Okay? I love you too much to continue doing that to you.”
If hearts could melt, mine would probably be a puddle on the floor right now.
God. What did I ever do to deserve him?
“Okay. If you’re a hundred percent sure.”
He holds me closer to him until we’re less than a breath away.
“I’m sure,” he says.
He kisses me.
When he pulls away, I’m out of breath. I guess he has that effect on me.
