Page 18 of Your Only Fan
I mean, what did I expect? That he’d come, take me, and then I’d be all “Phew. What a dud. Who’s next?”
Needless to say, I didn’t get any sleep. I stayed up thinking of him, of our encounter, of every moment, every touch, every sensation in my body as he claimed me.
The way he sucked me off and made me feel released. It haunted me all night.
I didn’t think it was possible to become even more obsessed with him, and yet that’s exactly how I feel. I want him now more than ever.
“Definitely not,” I say.
“What are you going to do?”
“What is there to do? Nothing. It was an experiment, it happened, it failed. There’s nothingtodo.” I enter the campus parking lot and park in one of the assigned faculty spots.
“Youcouldmeet him again,” Linc says.
I roll my eyes and gather my stuff. Linc gets out and so do I, and we walk toward our building, side by side, coffees in one hand, messenger bags in the other.
“That’s dangerous,” I say.
Linc stops and looks at me.
“What?” I ask.
“Dangerous? Isn’t that half the fun?”
He has a point. But I’ve already let him influence me with the whole date last night. Look wherethatgot me. I can’t keep flirting with these ideas because I will get in trouble, I’ll lose my job, my reputation, and my sanity, and no man is worth that much.
So I do what I rarely do. I walk away from Linc. I don’t need any more seedlings in my brain.
Of course, my first class for the day is World Theatre 101, and Ezra is there in his usual seat.
I just have to put up with today’s lesson and then I can have a full uninterrupted weekend and not see him again until next Tuesday.
That should give me plenty of time to flush him out of my system. Both literally and figuratively. Although I haven’t been able to flush him out figuratively for a year. How on earth am I supposed to do it over a weekend?
I’ll figure out a way.
I’m determined.
Yes, I am.
Oh, who am I kidding?
Seeing him, being in the same room with him, brings me back to last night and our short time together.
How wonderful and great it was. It was sensational.
I’ve never had an orgasm like the one he gave me, and I’ll be damned if my body doesn’t want a repeat.
So when class finishes, I do what every self-respecting addict does. I ask for more.
“Hey handsome. Last night was great. Do you want to do it again?”I message him.
I don’t get a response until I’m out of my next class. Which makes it so excruciating because all I want to do during my lecture is pull out my phone and check his reply.
The speed with which I take it out of my bag as soon as class is dismissed gives me a headrush. My heart is pumping. My hands are tingly with nerves. I want him. I want him again. And again, and again, and again.
“Hey bud. Sorry. I’ve got quite a busy schedule. Don’t know when I’ll be available again. I had a great time though.”
And just like that, my world comes crashing down.
Maybe it’s for the best.
