Page 45 of Your Only Fan
Linc scrunches up his face and leans in. “Are you messing with me? What do you mean what are you going to do? Tell him that you feel the same, then smooch smooch, kiss kiss and make-up and never have to call yourself Cum Junkie ever again. Simple,” he says.
“But it’s not that simple,” I say.
Although, isn’t it? Last night, Ezra said he had a crush on me and he would do something if I wasn’t his teacher because it’s against the rules.
But it’s not as long as we report it to the dean and draw up the paperwork. And since I feel the same, there’s no risk involved.
Right?
“Uhm… I don’t get you, dude. Why are you trying to make this more complicated than it has to be? This isn’t a soap opera. It’s real life, and you just got real confirmation that he likes you, too. So whip that mask off and show him it’s been you all along,” Linc says.
He’s right. Of course he’s right. I don’t have to second guess myself. I can just do it. I was in too much shock last night to act on it, but now I can.
“And you better do it quick before he finds out you’ve been lying to him and gets weird about it,” he adds.
“Oh shit,” I say.
I can’t tell him.
Was my head protecting me from getting hurt and hurting Ezra too last night? Is that why I couldn’t tell him?
Because Linc is right. What if I tell him and he gets angry with me? What if it’s just a simple crush and revealing myself makes him hate me.
Itisa fine line between love and hate after all.
“Oh my God, Ike. Get a grip on yourself. Jesus,” Linc says, and it’s only then I realize I’ve actually spoken my thoughts out loud.
That’s probably for the best, if I’m going to keep my sanity.
“Right!” I say. “You’re right. I need to tell him. I’mgoingto tell him.”
“Good. Finally you’re being sensible.”
“Hey,” I groan. “I’m only in this mess because you caused it, you know.”
Linc pushes me to the side, and I almost fall off the couch.
“You mean it’s because of me you’ve fucked him and now you know he likes you back? Yeah, you’re welcome… bitch!”
“Awww, look at you. Talking like a little gay in the closet,” I retaliate.
Yeah, he is right, but also, if he hadn’t suggested I fuck Ezra out of my system, I wouldn’t be in this situation.
And it is a complicated situation.
With so many variables.
Ah, fuck. I’m going in my head again. I need to stop thinking so much and just act. I need to tell Ezra who I am and that I feel the same way.
“Okay. I’m going to tell him.”
“Good. Can I go back to the gym now?”
“Why? Need to tone those washboard abs for the gay club later?” I tease.
Linc shakes his head and frowns. “Will you stop it with these jokes?”
“Why?” I ask and trail a finger down his middle. “Did I touch a nerve?”
