Page 42 of Your Only Fan
“I’m sure a guy like you has lots and lots of friends. I’m nothing special,” he says.
I raise an eyebrow.
“And yet you’re the one my fans want more of,” I say. “And you’re the one I love spending time with.”
“Stop it. You’re going to make me blush.”
“Show me,” I say, and I match his smile.
“You know I can’t,” he says, his fingers making circles on my chest now.
“You can’t, or you won’t?”
“Won’t,” he says. Then he quickly adds, “I’m sorry. It’s… it’s just a sensitive matter. For me.”
I lift my shoulders to shrug. “It’s fine. I understand.”
I don’t exactly, but I’m not going to keep on the subject. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want to show me his face, and while it bothered me in the beginning, I’m used to it now. I don’t mind it much anymore.
“You—” he starts but pauses and closes his mouth.
“I what?” I ask.
His lips twitch from side to side as if he’s deciding something and then…
“You don’t have to meet me if you don’t want to anymore. I’m sure you’ve got a long list of guys who’re looking forward to sleeping with you that are also willing to show you their face,” he says.
“To be honest, X, I’m quite liking the change in pace. It’s been a bit crazy the past few months. It’s nice to have a… regular.”
“Really?” he asks, and the smile returns on his face.
It’s funny how used you can get talking to a faceless mask. Three months ago, I would never have imagined sleeping with X again, and yet, here we are.
“Really. What do you expect? Just because I’m a porn star I like sleeping with different men all the time?”
“Well… don’t you?” he asks.
“Of course. But you know, it’s not like you don’t get tired of it. Just like any other job it can get… mundane. And don’t get me started on putting up with attitudes and quirks for just a quick lay.”
X’s fingers trail down to my abs and make circles around my belly button.
“What… what made you get into it?”
I grimace and let a breath out. “Nothing profound or anything. I needed cash for college and I replied to an ad. I did a couple of porn shoots for this studio when a guy who worked with me told me about his YourFan page, and I was sold. It took some time to get it off the ground, but when it did, it skyrocketed. And I haven’t looked back since.”
“So do you think you’ll be doing it for the rest of your life? Are you going to stop after college? What’s your plan?”
“My plan is simply to secure my future. I probably won’t want to do porn when I’m in my eighties, but we’ll see. I mean if I met someone and they didn’t want me to do porn anymore, I might consider quitting, but I doubt that’s gonna happen, so I guess I’m in it for the long haul,” I say.
“Please! Have you seen you? I’m sure you can meet someone tomorrow and they’ll be happy to spend the rest of their life with you,” he replies, and I can’t help but feel a pang in my chest.
If only it was that simple.
“Yeah, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way. Trust me,” I tell him.
X sits up in his bed and looks at me. Or I assume he is. For all I know, he’s looking at the headboard or my dick.
“Are you trying to tell me that of all the guys you’ve slept with, none of them… clicked for you?”
