Page 65 of Exquisite Monster
I tensed, not wanting anyone but them. All the others had done everything for us, and I appreciated it. I would thank them when I could. But I couldn’t bear to be near anyone else.
Sirrus was already retrieving food, and I felt guilty for not wanting to get closer.
“They understand,” Zovai said quietly. “Trust me. They do not hold it against you.”
We retreated to sit against the rocks. I ended up half leaning across Endre’s lap, listening to his heart beat steadily. After this, I didn’t know if I would ever get tired of hearing themlive.
“Here.” He placed something into my hand. A piece of fruit. I wasn’t hungry, but I ate it anyway. Our bond told me they weren’t going to eat without me eating too, and I had no idea how much they’d been fed. They were thinner than when I saw them last. Thinner but not starved, thank the Fallen.
They were probably more exhausted than I was.
“I’m sure they would keep carrying you if you need,” I whispered. “You can rest.”
“They would,” Endre said. “But we want to fly.”
Guilt and relief blended together, twisting together. I wanted them to rest, but I didn’t want anyone else to touch me, even to fly. But I would bear it if they needed rest. It was worse for them than for me. They were tortured.
I swiped a tear off my face, already frustrated with crying. Even if I knew it was going to happen. A lot.
All three of them were as close as we could be while simply sitting. Sirrus took the fingers still wet with my tears and kissed them. “We don’t have the time,” he whispered into my hair. “I know. But there is no comparing. We all suffered.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No. But being different does not make it better or worse.”
I ate another piece of fruit, and that was all. All the emotions and tumult inside made me certain that mixing food with flying was a bad idea.
Already the other dragons were preparing to leave, shifting and putting away supplies and clothes into bags, or tying them to their legs the way Idroal favored.
My mates stood too. Endre retrieved my bag, and with it,Varí. I felt him nuzzle against my hand when I put my hand inside. If he didn’t love the bag so much, I would feel bad about him being thereso long. But it seemed the collection was another little hoard for him, though his coin was still his first love.
I needed to make him a new pouch. The one on his back was dirty and torn after so much time.
Sirrus didn’t let go of me once we all stood. “With me?” He asked.
I nodded.
Endre touched our bond like I had earlier, calling me to his side as Sirrus shifted into his beast.
He kept me close.I love you.
“I wish we didn’t have to go anywhere. I just want?—”
We are the same, Lena.Believe me. But more than anything, we need you safe. Our beasts will not settle for anything less.
Not like we could stay safe, but I understood.
He brushed a kiss over my lips lightly. Not anything that would distract either of us and make the longing worse. Then he lent his strength to help me climb Sirrus’s scales.
We had so much time while flying, I wished we could talk as we did it. But I did not want my untethered thoughts heard by every dragon with us. Nor could they fly close enough together to hear my whispers, as big as they were.
So we would wait.
I curled into the space between his shoulder blades and matched my breath in time with Sirrus’s wings.
CHAPTER THIRTY
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