Page 30 of Exquisite Monster
If Gleym asked me why I was here, I didn’t know that I would have an answer. At least not one that I would admit out loud.
Thesheytenmade dragons stronger. Their powers. Magic in general. So if I was closer to the stone, they might be able to feel me?
It wasn’t likely, but it made me feel better.
Not much.
Every day that passed—whatever that meant down here—made anger grate inside me like blowing sand. I was raw. All I wanted was to get out of here anddosomething.
I knew I was doing something, getting ready. I also knew that without this preparation, going after Andaros would be the same as an infant attacking an army battalion. It was arrogant to think I’d be able to save them, but I…
My body shrank into a ball. I buried my face between my knees and wrapped my arms around them, making myself as small as I could in order to withstand the pressure that seemed to compress my heart and lungs every fucking second.
I didn’t want to be here anymore.
I missed the sun. I missed sounds that didn’t echo. I missed air that wasn’t humid and the feeling of the breeze. I missed everything.
Hot tears pressed against my eyelids and seeped through, soaking into the fabric of the shapeless robe I wore. I should be grateful. I was alive. I was relatively safe. My mates were alive.
But I wasn’t grateful. I was exhausted and sad and furious, and the minute I let out more than these tears was the moment I turned into a puddle incapable of helping anyone, let alonesavinganyone.
So I came here when I couldn’t bear to curl up, close my eyes, and sleep. The hope that they could feel me when I was closer to thesheytenwas one of the few things that soothed me.
Turning inward, I pushed feelings into that space in the center of my chest. Right now I felt their absence so sharply it was physical. I pushed love and longing. I pushed hope and frustration and sorrow. I pushed every feeling I had but words.
What would I say?
The sound of scraping on stone had me looking up. Gleym stood in the doorway, her staff the noise that had alerted me. I swiped the tears off my cheeks and stood, heading for the door. The last thing I wanted right now was to have a conversation.
“Are you all right, girl?”
I didn’t answer, pushing past her and back into the labyrinth of her home. NeitherVarínor I had found the end of it. For all I knew, it could go halfway across Viria.
“Katalena,” she called after me.
Turning, I looked at her. “Let’s not pretend you’ve begun to care about me.”
“Maybe not, but I am not heartless.”
“I am,” I said, pushing emotion down into the burning center of myself I kept locked up. “Right now I am heartless. Because if I’m anything else, I will not be able to go on.”
She didn’t respond, and I didn’t wait to see if she would. Instead, I retraced my steps and found the potion room, gently liftingVaríout of the bowl he slept in. He barely stirred, cuddling into my arms. I still wished he were somewhere safer, but without him? I wasn’t sure I would have lasted this long.
Regardless, this had to end.
It had been more than a month since I’d told Gleym I felt I was running out of time. Now, I wasn’t running out. I was out. Something needed to change.
Who knew if being bonded to my mates gave me some kind of extra sense, but every piece of me was screaming that I needed to leave. Soon.
That resolve made something ease in me as I settled into our bed, lettingVarícurl around a small pillow. Tomorrow, I would tell Gleym. Our time was up, and whether or not she helped me get to the surface, I was going after my mates.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
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KATALENA
Istrode into what I’d come to think of as the kitchen and pinned Gleym with a stare. “I want clothes.”
