Page 165 of Claimed By Fangs and Darkness
“What do you want to do?” she asked me when I finished. She set down her coffee on the table between us and leaned back in her chair.
“I don’t know. She knows where my grandmother lives. She knows I’m friends with the humans and witches who frequent Celeste’s. She knows about Kylo. I’m not certain of how much she knows about the clan—but we still don’t understand how she was able to enter a glamoured location. I think she’s been watching me for months now.”
“I’m glad you felt comfortable talking to me about this,” she said. “I don’t want to step on any toes as we approach war, especially as a guest in Kylo’s domain, but you’re my friend too. You deserve to control your own destiny.”
The words healed something deep inside me, hearing Vesper call herself my friend.
“It sounds like you’re already defending your choice—you know exactly what you want to do.”
I gripped my coffee tight, as if it were an emotional support pet. “It’s not even about wanting to—it’s aboutneedingto. I’m terrified of what will happen if I don’t. But I promised Kylo I wouldn’t return. I can’t lie to him, not again. I don’t even know where he is right now.”
“Your love runs deep,” Vesper said, tilting her head slightly as a small smile formed. “Believe it or not, I’m still a romantic. I’m just unfortunately attracted to men, and I don’t find the vast majority of them to be redeemable characters.”
My lips curved in spite of myself. “That doesn’t surprise me—either admission. And yes, our love runs so deep that I don’t think either of us knows how to balance it with our duty to the clan. Our devotion to Hekate and the world we’re building together. Is it inevitable for love to be so blinding?”
Vesper nodded. “I think that’s one of its natural functions. We weren’t born to be self-contained, pious ascetics. We were born to love each other. And a cost of love is freedom, which is perhaps why I find it hard to engage with romance these days. Other forms of love—friend love, community love—tend to leave more wiggle room.”
Vesper never wanted to feel trapped or controlled again. How she was able to maintain this position of maternal wisdom after everything she’s been through, even when discussing Conrad himself—it was a testament to the incredible, miraculous woman she was.
“Then what’s the right answer?” I asked, self-aware enough to hear the pleading tone in my voice but too desperate to care. I searched Vesper’s face frantically, as if I might find the decisiveness that I needed.
“There isn’t one. Sometimes the correct choice is the one we make.”
I leaned back in my chair. “No offense, but that is not helpful.”
Vesper laughed. “The truth isn’t always,” she sighed. “I don’t want you to put yourself in a dangerous position either. If I’m being completely honest with you, I feel as though waiting to strike as a greater unit is the best decision. We’ve already learned so much from your visits. There has to be a way to lure Juliette without making you vulnerable. She clearly sneaks off when the lords aren’t aware. We just have to catch her at it.”
I could see it now: the fear that Vesper had been carefully concealing from me. I remembered Kylo’s emotional words, reminding me that Aster and Conrad wanted to abuse me the same way they had Vesper if I gave them the opportunity. Vesper cared for me, even as she respected my autonomy.
“But what about Conrad’s offer?” I asked quietly, hyper-empathetic to the slight wince in Vesper’s features. “He all but admitted he was willing to remove Juliette from the picture if that was what I wanted.”
“You can’t trust him,” Vesper said firmly. “They wantyou,Evie. Especially if Juliette is taken out. Then they willneedyou.”
“I wonder how they envision using us after they’re done with Etherdale,” I said.
“It sounds like they want to move out of the South entirely. They want Prospyrus; they want the crown. Conrad is violently ambitious. That was why he’d bred enemies at court, like Kole. He was always resistant to bowing to seniority and respecting chains of command. Especially when those customs interfered with his own aims. It doesn’t surprise me he grew tired of being blocked and thwarted. Men like him need to be at the top or they will die trying.”
“So they’d use me as a weapon,” I surmised. “A pretty, fuckable weapon. And that’s why when I was eavesdropping, I heard them say they paid a bribe to keep my power a secret. Idon’t know how they can honestly believe I’ll just go along with their plans.”
Vesper’s eyes darkened. She tongued a fang, a habit I’d seen her do a few times—as if she found comfort in reminding herself how powerful she’d become.
“The born have many methods at their disposal to psychologically break a person. Especially with Conrad’s pain magick. If you don’t comply, they have ways to force you.”
“It won’t get that far,” I said.
I stared sadly into my empty coffee mug before admitting defeat and setting it back down. I averted my gaze to my new garden. Herbs and flowers with faintly glowing auras gently called to me in singsong notes that carried in the wind.
“Kylo has taken care of me since the day we met. We belong to each other. Yet I also pledged my soul and its vessel to Hekate and the revolution.” My eyes pricked with frustrated tears. “I didn’t think it was possible to respect a man as deeply as I respect him. I owe him honesty. But I’m afraid that if I give him that, he will make my choice for me.”
Vesper listened and held me with a gentle gaze. She didn’t shame me or try to influence my decision either way.
“Juliette said if I didn’t show up Friday, she would go looking for me atall my favorite places. Which means defenseless mortals would be endangered—our allied coven, or maybe even Mena and the mortals she’s harboring in her home. Either way, I’m at a disadvantage. But at least if I go to them,I’mthe only one at risk.”
“I wish I could come with you,” Vesper said.
“Me too.”
“Have you prayed about this, Evie? Spoken to Hekate and your spirit allies?”
