Page 22 of The Coveted
I decided to move on from the Renata thing for now, though the pang of jealousy was fierce. I knew it was the least important thing to come out of today’s events. “Well, that makes two of us.”
“Are you okay?” Suddenly he was close, and it felt like we hadn’t been this close in so long—the elixir episode aside—our bodies only inches apart as he searched my face and down the length of my body. “Come here.”
I leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around me, tentative at first and then unhesitant. His body was warm and comforting, smelling of its usual woodsy scent. I relaxed as much as I could into his hold, weary from holding back all the power that begged to be channeled. Letting Lucius exert his will over me was fighting against my most innate instincts.
“You know what happened wasn’t your fault, right? None of it was.”
A sob escaped me as I remembered the woman writhing in pain on the carpet, and Daelon ran his fingers through my long hair in an effort to soothe.
“I felt her pain. Like it was a part of me—like it was my own pain. How do you do this? I don’t think I can… it’s too much…”
“Shh,” he whispered into my hair. “You can. Because you have to. Continuing on is the only way to ensure that none of them have died in vain.”
“I hate him. He’s repulsive,” I spat, my voice muffled against his chest.
“Amos likes to say that holding onto anger is like holding onto a hot rock. In the end, you’re the one who gets burned.”
I groaned. “Buddha quote memes might be useful to a middle-aged woman going through a divorce, but I’m pretty sure they’re a bit superfluous when faced with a psychotic witch murderer.”
Daelon chuckled. “Áine, you nearly let your emotions set fire to your bedroom last week. It’s safe to say that your anger can, in a literal sense, burn you.”
Okay, maybe he had a point. “But if I stop feeling it all, then at what point do I lose my humanity?”
“You don’t need to stop feeling it. You just can’t feel itall. You need to find a way to channel it into what’s productive. The future. The revolution. Hope. We’re in the dark night of the soul right now, but faith that this path will deliver us—that’s the only way out.”
“You’ve been here for years,” I breathed. I knew I wouldn’t have lasted so long. “I don’t know how you’ve done it.”
“Even when I wasn’t conscious of it, I always held on to that faith. A part of me always knew you were coming. Nothing has ever made me believe in the impossible more than when I first laid eyes on you.”
I pulled away to look at him, and his hands slid down to the curve of my hips. I wanted to say it then, those three words, but again they dried up on my tongue. “I’m glad he can’t access my power. Even if he could, though, I don’t think he’d ever truly be able tofeelit. Not being who he is.”
Daelon’s point about my emotions was easier said than done, despite our weeks of training to detach them from my power. Every time I thought about Lucius’s skin on mine, a fresh wave of intensity threatened to destroy any semblance of that control.
“We need to talk about that woman’s message and what it meant,” I said. “And, of course, the fact that if I don’t become useful soon, Lucius will probably kill me.”
Daelon tensed, his jaw set. “He’s not going to kill you.” He placed his palms on my cheeks and looked hard into my eyes. “I will never let that happen.” He dropped his hands and reached for one of mine, our fingers intertwining. “Come, let’s sit. I think you need a break and time to cool off.”
I opened my mouth to protest. He wanted me to channel my anger into productivity, didn’t he?
“We have time,” he said, before I could speak. We sat down on his long couch with the tall back, my legs in his lap as I leaned against the side. It was close to how we sat last night, which made my stomach do a little somersault. “Did you know that what both Lucius and Nathaniel did to you was against the law?”
“Not seeing how this is going to calm me,” I muttered.
He ignored me. “You’re going to need to learn more about our rules and customs. As you know, energy sharing is intimate. It’s only allowed consensually. It can be pleasurable, like a drug, but it can also be useful. Like when I’m able to share parts of myself with you, or when I can channel through you for my own spells, since you’re so much more powerful. Energy vampires, of course, lay at the fringe of society. They chase power and highs as a way of life. But people here in the Kingdom have also been known to do what they do from time to time. It’s now codified into law that it’s prohibited.”
“Then why isn’t Nathaniel in the dungeons?” I muttered.
He sighed. “Why do you think? People at the top aren’t usually bound by the same laws as the rest of the world.” His hands on my legs, trailing absentmindedly as he spoke, warmed me from within. His touch chased away all of the darkness. “There’s a parable we tell our children and others who we fear will step out of line. It’s been told for centuries, all over the realm. It’s called the Parable of the Coveter and the Painter. It goes like this: Once there was a great artist, blessed by the Goddess—or King, if it’s told here in the Kingdom—with the gift of creating otherworldly paintings.
“Anyone who gazed upon these paintings felt themselves transported by the painter’s brushstrokes, like they could feel exactly what she wanted them to feel. It inspired artists, philosophers, and religious figures throughout the realm, blown away by her beautiful and transcendent magick. Her paintings changed lives. Then one day a man came along who wanted her gift for himself so badly that he kidnapped her. He syphoned her magick day and night until he finally felt that he had stolen her gift. He knew it wouldn’t last forever, but even a short time with her gift he thought would be enough. So, he started painting, and at first glance the paintings were perfectly beautiful. He called all of the greats in the land to see his work, hoping they would be just as influenced as they had been before. But as they gazed upon them, all they felt was her pain. They felt disgust and fear, and soon they all fell ill with depression and insanity, convinced the world was a dark and cold place. It started a ripple effect across the land, swallowing up all magick and beauty until there was nothing left. The woman died, and what was left of her gift dried up. The man was left with nothing except the knowledge that he ruined the entire realm for generations to come.”
I blinked at him, slowly. I shook my head, a small smile breaking through. “Imagine trying to distract someone from their pain by telling them literally the most depressing story I’ve ever heard. What is wrong with you?”
Suddenly the most inappropriate reaction possible bubbled up within me. I started laughing. Then Daelon started laughing, and I couldn’t remember the last time we had laughed together like this. It was a burst of pent-up tension and volatility, scooping us both up in the most unexpected current of release.
“Why are you laughing?” Daelon asked, his usually tense features crinkled and amused.
“Why areyoulaughing?” I giggled, intertwining my fingers through his absentmindedly.
