Page 88 of Things I Wish I Said
I stare at him for a moment, wondering if he’s being difficult on purpose. “You’re going there, aren’t you? From the sounds of it, you had multiple offers, so assuming you like something about George Mason isn’t a stretch.”
Grayson turns to my nightstand and picks up the framed photo my mom had taken at a soccer tourney last year. It was the last one I played in before my diagnosis. The last photo where I looked truly happy.
He shrugs. “They’re a Division One school with a great computer tech program.”
“Oh.”
So he’s a computer nerd? Just another thing to add to my list of things that surprise me about him.
“And my father went there,” he adds.
This feels a little closer to the truth. “You don’t talk much about him,” I say, though if I’m being honest, Grayson doesn’t talk much about himself in general. He’s always asking me questions, trying to gain an insight into my life, but he’s tight-lipped where his own is concerned.
“Not much to say, I guess.”
“Are you close?”
“We were.”
I frown. “Were?” It would make sense since he hasn’t mentioned him.
“He left us a year ago,” Grayson says, his tone flat.
“Oh.” My stomach sinks, and I curse myself for prying. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Not your fault. What about yours?” He sets the picture back down and finally meets my eyes. “I assume he’s not in the picture?”
I shake my head. “Never was.”
“Do you ever think about finding him?” he asks, staring at me with an intensity that makes me squirm.
“No. I mean, who knows? Maybe someday I’ll change my mind, but my mom wanted me, and that’s enough for me.”
“What about John? Have you had any epiphanies? Is that getting any better?” he asks, his lips twisting in a rueful smile when I groan.
“No. He’s been busy at work, though, so I haven’t seen him as much this week, but that also means he’ll probably stay over this weekend.” I make a face that lets him know exactly how much that appeals to me. “Which also means, Katie will sleep on a blow-up bed in here with me, and it’s always so awkward because we both know what they’re doing behind closed doors when everyone goes to sleep.” I fake gag, and Grayson grins.
“Sorry. That would be weird for sure.”
“Ten out of ten, don’t recommend.”
“What about you?” he asks. “You get your results back soon. What’s the plan?”
I sigh. “I don’t know. I suppose it depends.”
“On?”
“The results,” I say, like he’s stupid.
“Assume they come back clean. What then?”
I exhale, trying to come up with something good so I don’t sound like a loser, but my mind draws a blank. “I don’t know. The last six months has been spent just thinking about getting through one day at a time. When I realized I wasn’t going to be playing for Florida State in the fall, I put the idea of school on hold for the foreseeable. The doctors, my mother, they all seem to want me to focus on the here and now.”
Grayson frowns. “And if you could have any future you wanted?”
A bitter laugh escapes my chest. “That’s easy.” At his questioning stare, I say, “I’d play soccer.”
His throat bobs. “What else? Will you still enroll in a nursing program like you mentioned?”
