Page 78 of Things I Wish I Said
She nods, and I see the subtle tightening of her expression.
I wonder if she hates me for smoking when she’s never touched a cigarette in her life, yet she’s the one with lung cancer.
But I won’t lie to her either, pretend to be something I’m not.
“So, Hannah found you, I presume?”
My brow creases as I slowly nod. “Yeah. Why?”
She lifts a shoulder. “Just wondering. I ran into her in the bathroom, and she was pretty upset. I guess she assumed we were together, and I felt kind of bad letting her think it. I cracked a lot of jokes the day I met her at your game, but I never meant to hurt her. I didn’t realize how into you she was.” She glances down at her hands, picks at a ragged nail. “But don’t worry. I set the record straight.”
I frown. “What do you mean you set the record straight?”
“I told her we’re not really together and sort of . . . I don’t know”?she waves her hand in front of her?“gave her my blessing to go for it.”
So that’s why Hannah was so insistent.
I groanand allow my head to fall back on the seat. “I really wish you wouldn’t have done that.”
“What? She’s gorgeous and seems nice enough. Besides”?her brow furrows?“you called me that night and asked me about other girls. I’m pretty sure it was her in the background, so I thought—”
“Sex, Ry. All I wanted was sex.”
Ryleigh’s cheeks flush, and damn, is it sexy.
“Not everything is about liking someone,” I say. “Sometimes it’s just about sex.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
Silence follows, and I feel like a dick, so I add, “But I didn’t sleep with her, just so you know. I went home alone that night.”
“Why?”
I think about how we talked on the phone, how I’d discovered she was in the hospital, and the mood just . . . vanished.
But I don’t say that.
Instead, I shrug and say, “Just wasn’t feeling it.”
“So, you don’t like her?”
“No.”
“I just, I didn’t want to stand in your way.”
“You don’t have to worry about that with me,” I say, holding her gaze.
“And Cameron, is he the type who will only want sex?”
My spine stiffens. I don’t like that she’s wondering about Cameron in this context. Scratch that. I fucking hate it, but Ican’t exactly say so, considering I just told her I only want casual sex.
“No,” I choke out. “Cameron isn’t that type.”
It’s true. The dude might crack jokes with the boys, but he’s never been careless with women.
“Listen . . .” I rake a hand through my hair. I have no idea what she’s thinking, and it’s fucking killing me. “I don’t want you to be worried about me and other chicks, okay? And as long as we’re doing this thing”?I motion between us?“I’m not going to have sex with anyone else.”
