Page 158 of Things I Wish I Said
A middle-aged man sits on a stone bench beneath a rose arbor, a camera set up in front of him, and I freeze. “I don’t want to do this,” I say, turning to Grayson. “Maybe I can skip it?”
He grips my shoulders, frowning. “No one is going to force you into anything, Sinclair. Do you want to skip it?”
I bite my lip, glancing behind me. This award, an interview with MaxPreps, they’re a big deal.
Amanda’s words from dinner the night before stick in my head.“Maybe once you recover, Florida State or another school will still take you.”
What if she’s right? What if by some miracle I recover and can play again?
Maybe I won’t be the same. I might no longer be a missile down the field, but I can still train my lungs. I can regain some of my speed. With time, my mind and footwork will be just as sharp.
“Maybe not,” I say, turning back to Grayson, though I can’t shake this feeling in my gut. The one that tells me this is a bad idea.
“You’re sure?”
I nod, forcing a smile that almost feels genuine. “I’m just nervous,” I say, more to myself than anyone.
“I wish I could go with you, but they won’t let me. I’ll be right inside the lobby, though, waiting.”
“Thanks.” I stretch up on my tiptoes and offer him a peck on the cheek, then turn around before I change my mind.
I shake out my hands and take a deep breath, telling myself I can do this, that I can do hard things, as I round the bend and the hotel’s full gardens come into view. Sun filters througha rose-covered pergola where my interviewer sits, talking to his cameraman.
This isn’t like the promotional video, I tell myself. I don’t have to do anything physical. All I have to do is talk—answer questions. I’ve watched enough of these videos over the years to know the kinds of things they ask.
It should put me at ease, but it doesn’t.
The vise in my chest squeezes as I step forward, catching the interviewer’s attention as he stands. “Ryleigh.” He stretches a hand out in greeting, and we shake. “Colby Brian with MaxPreps. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too.” I smile, willing my voice to remain steady.
“Have a seat.” He waves me to the bench he just rose from and joins me. “How are you liking LA?”
“It’s great so far. I’ve had a lot of fun sightseeing.”
“Tonight’s the big night. Are you ready?”
I relax just a fraction, melting back into the bench. “I think so. Nervous, but excited.”
“Well, you’re quite the young lady with a very impressive record. Which is why we’re here. Jason, our cameraman, is going to record this little interview. It’ll be brief, maybe five minutes, and then we’ll let you get on your way because we know you have photos to take and an award to get to.”
I smile, feeling my first jolt of excitement at what awaits me tonight since I first arrived. Part of me can’t believe it’s here. Shortly after I was awarded the state title for women’s soccer, and announced as a national nominee, I was diagnosed. Myachievements quickly fueled my will to fight. Months later, here I am, having won the national title.
It’s almost hard to believe.
“All set?” Colby asks.
I nod, ready to get started.
With a broad smile, he turns to the camera. “Hi, it’s Colby Brian here with Ryleigh Sinclair, and if you don’t know Ryleigh, then you have got to get to know her. Ryleigh, also known as The Missile, just graduated from Federal Hocking as the number one recruited player in the nation.”
He glances down at the card in his hand. “Ryleigh is also a two-time First Team All-Virgina Prep honoree, the Virginia Soccer Coaches Association’s Class 3 Player of the Year, two years in a row. A member of the US Soccer Under-18 Women’s National Team at the age of seventeen, and Winner of the Golden Boot at the United States Youth Soccer Association’s Under-18 National Championship.” He pauses, glances up at me. “Ryleigh, how does it feel when you’re blazing down the field?”
I bite back theumI want to start with and go straight into my answer. “Being on the field has always felt a little like coming home. Put a soccer ball in front of me and my brain shuts off. My body moves on instinct. When I’m playing nothing else matters. It’s like I’m truly alive.”
“What do you think makes you so good on your feet, so quickand sharp?”
“Um, I do a lot of cross training. Biking, running, and sprints. Lots of weights, too, especially my legs and core.”
