Page 51 of The Love Ambush
Rose turns to her mother, frowning. “Mom. What did you do to the brownies?”
That last bite of brownie goes down a little harder than the rest as the possibilities spin through my brain. What could she have done to the brownies that would make them inappropriate for the children?
Poison?
Hester smiles sweetly. “I made them with love.”
No way did that sweet woman poison her family. But what else could she have done to the brownies?
“Mother,” Rose says firmly. “You need to tell everyone at this table right now what you did.”
Did she drop them on the floor but serve them anyway?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hester says. “The adults have a right to eat as many brownies as possible.”
“Mom, this is the last time I’m going to ask, and if you don’t answer, you’re going to be uninvited to the rehearsal dinner. What did you do to the brownies?”
I’m dying to know. Hester is pursing her lips together and fiddling with the strands of her long, silver hair, like she’s not going to answer. Her hair is really pretty and so shiny in the moonlight streaming down from the ceiling.
What could that sweet old lady have done to the most delicious brownies I’ve ever eaten in my entire life?
“Did you put sex in them?” I shout, because it’s the only thing I can come up with that would make them inappropriate for the kids. And then I double over laughing at the shocked expressions on everyone’s faces.
Haven’t they ever imagined a little old lady putting sex into brownies along with love? And then I’m picturing it, and I laugh even harder while Levi snorts and rubs my back.
“Mother,” Rose says like she’s having trouble speaking because either her teeth are clenched too tight or a brownie ate her tongue. “You didn’t. You promised you wouldn’t drug the desserts anymore without informing everyone.”
I sit up straight. “Drugged? I’ve been drugged. I don’t remember the brownies drugging me anywhere.” And then I double over laughing again, because I am hilarious.
“Look at how happy she is,” Hester says.
I straighten up again. “I’ve never been happier. All my knots are loosened, and I’m not crying.”
“See,” Hester says. “This is a very stressful time. Everyone needs a little help relaxing, and if I’d told you I was adding a little THC to the brownies, Rosie, you’d have said no.”
“Because we don’t administer drugs to people without their knowledge. It’s illegal.”
“Don’t speak that way to your mother,” Morris says. “We’re all family here, and THC isn’t even really a drug. It’s an herb. From the earth.”
“I love the earth.” I tilt my head back to stare at the moon. “Why do we keep hurting it?”
“Money and greed, dear,” Hester says. “Don’t look at me that way, Rosie.”
“Honestly,” Liza says. “We all knew she was going to do it. That’s why I didn’t eat one.”
“Oh, honey,” Hester says. “Are you pregnant?” Like that’s the only reason a person might not want to partake in a drugged brownie. The idea makes me laugh again.
Liza shudders. “Bite your tongue, Grammy. I just don’t have time to lie on the grass for ten hours and contemplate the best use of plastic sandwich bags like I did the last time I ate one of your brownies.”
“I ate hers,” Liza’s husband says. “I’m going to come up with a use for sandwich bags that’s going to make us millions.”
“Money is stupid.” I lower my head to look at my new family, my favorite people in the world, but I can’t see them around the spots in my eyes caused by the moon. “I’m going to build a cabin in the woods and grow my own food so I can paint all day and never have to worry about money again.”
“Living off the grid is the only way to stand up to the man,” Hester says. “Money was invented to divide and destroy us all.”
“What is money anyway?” Liza’s husband asks. “It’s just paper, right? It doesn’t really mean anything.”
“It only means something because rich people have it and decided to make everyone else poor by not making enough.” My head feels really heavy, so I let it fall onto Levi’s shoulder.
