Page 31 of Suleem and Yahzi
“Ms. Coleman. The doctor is ready to see you now.”
“Can’t I see my mother first?”
“You can, but Dr. Ross would like to discuss her condition.”
“Condition…” Yahzi panicked and I placed my hand at her hip and brought her back against my chest.
“Chill, Yah, let them tell you what’s up before you go stressing the fuck out.”
She tensed but nodded. “Fine.”
We followed the woman back to the office where Dr. Ross greeted us. His young ass didn’t look old enough to have finished medical school. Didn’t even have no damn facial hair. As many times as I’d been here, I had never seen him before. Going forward, he would definitely see me based on the way he smiled at Yahzi until his eyes moved past her and he noticed she wasn’t alone. He cleared his throat and straightened his posture before he motioned for us to come in.
Yeah, muthafucker…
Yahzi turned to me with a scowl on her face. “You can wait out here.”
I got that she was upset and in her feelings but she needed to act like she knew who the hell she was talking to.
“Ay, playboy, give us a minute.” I moved Yahzi to the side and closed the door in his face, leaving him in the office and us in the hallway before I walked Yahzi back against the wall, blocking her body with mine.
“Look, I get that you’re in your feelings right now because I know some shit that I wasn’t supposed to, but me looking after your mom was me looking out for you. You left Diamond Falls behind something I did which meant your weekly visits turned to monthly. It was on me to make sure she had somebody here in your place.”
Her pretty face twisted in confusion. “How do you even know about her…”
I smirked and stared at her like she was talking stupid. “This is my city, Yah. I wanted all of you and you wanted to keep secrets. What you refused to say, the streets filled in for me.”
She never told me about her mother. She knew my shit but I didn’t know hers. I asked once and could tell from the reaction it wasn’t something she wanted to discuss with me. Back then, that was cool. When we started dealing with each other, it was just something to keep me occupied. When I knew she wasimportant to me, I was happy to have her however I could and that meant keeping the peace. Everything in my life was temporary. I never expected us to be what we were so I let her have her secrets.
Yahzi dropped her eyes and I didn’t like that shit. “Look at me.”
When I had her attention again she whispered, “I wasn’t keeping secrets.”
“You were and I’m not mad about that. You had your reasons.”
She snorted and turned her gaze away from me. “She’s here because she was a fiend who got a hold of some bad dope. That shit messed up her mind. I’m a hypocrite because I was fucking around with a man who pushed the same poison that took her from me.”
“Nah, baby, you’re not.”
She turned her focus on me again and mine was intently on her. “My hands are dirty but not like that. I know it’s fucked up to say but our shit is pure. We’re not out here letting niggas mix up shit like what your mother got her hands on. We can’t stop what moves through the hood but we can control the quality of what’s out there. A fiend will be a fiend. If it’s not coming from us, it will be pushed from someone else. I know that doesn’t make it right but that’s just how shit goes.”
When her eyes were on me again, she chewed the corner of her lip and I saw she was at war with what she felt and what she believed to be right.
“Yah, there is no right and wrong with this shit. We’re all out here just trying to make it and find a piece of something that makes life feel not so complicated. You’re allowed to have that. Even if it makes you feel fucked up because I’m your something. Not a fucking soul on this earth can judge you, aight?”
She nodded and exhaled a sigh. “How long have you been coming here?”
“A week after you left.”
“And you saw her?”
I nodded.
“How? They shouldn’t have let you.”
My expression was cocky. “You really want to know?”
She narrowed her eyes and I kissed her. “Calm them crazy ass thoughts down. My money, not my dick, is what gave me access to your OG. A little shorty Kassir fucked with a while ago works here. I dropped a few stacks for her to put me on the list as an approved guest and emergency contact.”
