Page 55 of Finders Keep Her
"I'll leave that up to Ellie."
"How do they do it?" War asks next. Again, I know what he's really asking.
War has always struggled with emotion. I'm sure he believes I'm the same but not really. I'm just not expressive. I understand love and how it bleeds into your actions. That was what War had to piece together. All things aren't black and white. You'd think he would have gotten that long ago. We have always lived in the gray area.
"All of us have always been very decisive. The girls would call it intuitive, I believe. We have always been good at trusting ourinstincts." War might find it strange to dress up what he's feeling for Tova as hearts and flowers, but in the end, it simply is.
We just happen to know the flowers and heart that belong to us. If you think about it, it's how we have been our whole lives. We are either in or out, and there has never been a woman that lured any of us out before, because we can't be tempted. Temptation would mean we question it. Each of us knew the second it happened. It’s our nature.
“How’d it go?” Z comes to stand with us.
“It’s done,” I confirm.
“She knows?” I shake my head no.
“Not yet.”
“You’re telling her?”
“I am.”
“Is that a good idea?” War cuts in. “Cosima understands, but Tova is sweet and soft. Not sure I’d tell her.”
“Because you know she’d rather you not.” War wouldn't keep it from his wife if she truly wanted to know these things.
“Marks might sit behind a computer screen, but she’s seen shit. There is no way she hasn’t.”
That is true. I know the fucked-up things that are out there in the world. Hell, I’m one of them. Ellie has stumbled across them, but she’s also seen another kind of darkness. The evil that lives in corporations. They might not be torturing people themselves in person, but they very much do torture and kill people. Hundreds of thousands of people.
The laughter grows closer as they head back toward the house. When Ellie spots me, her whole face lights up. That shit hits me hard. I always want her to light up that way when she sees me. God knows no one else does. If anything, they start praying to their god.
I take a few steps forward as Ellie runs toward me. "You're back." She wraps her arms around my neck. I lean down and kissher. "You get me something?" Ellie wiggles her brows. I hadn't told her what I was up to.
When she asked, I told her it was a surprise. It will be, just not sure it's the kind of surprise people welcome.
"You could say that." I take her hand. "Come on." I lead her back inside so that we can be alone. I know over the past few days Ellie has opened up to everyone a lot more about her life, but I'm not going to be tossing shit out in front of everyone, especially when it hovers closely to her father. She can decide for herself what she wants everyone to know.
"Is everything okay?" she asks.
"The surprise isn't here." Ellie's eyes search my face.
"Is this about Cy?"
"It is." Cyberius is still in the city. We bought time with the warehouse explosion, but we didn't want too much time. If he thought Ellie was dead, he'd leave the city. We let it linger for a good twenty-four hours before the news reported there were no casualties in the explosion.
"Do you have him somewhere?" Her eyes flick around like she might see him tied up in the corner. I almost laugh because she’s not bothered by it.
“No, not him, but we have to go to the hole.” Ellie’s expressive green eyes widen.
“Like the hole I’ve heard you all mention a few times, but none of us know where it is?”
“That would be the one.” Her lips start to form an O. “The hole isn’t a nice place, Ellie. It’s not somewhere to get excited about.” I want to make that clear. “And you don’t have to go. I can tell you what’s happening, and we can go from there.”
“But that’s ruining the surprise.”
“You might not enjoy this surprise.”
"You think I'm okay to go?" She peers up at me with trust.
