Page 132 of Hyperspeed
I didn’t move at first, too stunned and convinced it was a dream.
Endless black eyes stared at me over Jax’s shoulder, and I wanted to shove my teammate aside and pull Rev into my arms. I was desperate to hold him against my chest, sweaty body be damned, and inhale the scent of apples that clung to his skin. I wanted to breathe him in until I was dizzy, to make him roll around in my sheets so they carried his scent.
Because if he left me again, at least some part of him would still be here.
Jax cleared his throat, his eyes flitting between the two of us.
“Well, I, uh . . . I’ll see myself out.” He slipped past Rev, exiting through the door. But before he left, he placed a hand on the rookie’s shoulder. “Good to see you, Rev.”
“You too,” he wheezed, though his eyes stayed locked on mine.
“Are you okay?” I took a careful step towards him, not wanting to scare him off. It was the first time I’d seen him in weeks, and I’d hate myself if I ran him off just as he’d arrived.
“Had to . . . see you,” he panted, stepping over the threshold and allowing the door to close behind him.
The sharp click of the latch carved through the silence like a knife, and he fiddled with the hem of his T-shirt, busying his hands as though he was nervous.
It was laughable, because why would he be nervous? If anyone should be shitting themselves, it was me. I was terrified that he’d walk out of my apartment and I’d never see him again—at least not like this.
Of course I’d see him at the track, but he’d been skillfully avoiding me, and I couldn’t stand the thought of that continuing for the remainder of my career.
Having him here felt like a dream I didn’t want to wake from.
After weeks apart, just being near him again was everything. I noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the way his jeans hung a little looser than before. I wanted to ask if he was sleeping. If he was eating. Fuck, just looking at him made me want to make his favourite meal and watch him eat until he was full, even if I burned half the kitchen trying.
There was so much I wanted to say and do, but I didn’t know where to begin. My mouth was dry, my tongue feeling too big for the small space, but the silence was growing awkward, tense, so I cleared my throat.
“Honest question,” I said, catching the way he jumped at my voice. “On a scale of one to ‘go to hell,’ how badly did I fuck this up?”
His brow furrowed, and I expected a barrage of angry words. But then his lips twitched, and a sudden laugh bubbled out of him, the sound verging on hysterical.
He slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes widening like it surprised him.
Fuck, every time I heard it, I was surprised too.
“I’ve missed your laugh, Revvy.”
His fingers curled into a loose fist against his mouth, eyes glassing over with tears. “Kai,” he whispered, voice unsteady and soaked with emotion.
I didn’t want him to crumble if I couldn’t hold him, not again. So I held out my hand, hoping he’d take it. When he did, the weight I’d been carrying on my shoulders for weeks melted away in an instant.
For the first time since the day it all went to shit, I felt like I could take a full breath.
“Let’s sit down, yeah?”
His eyes fell to the point of our connection, and as I led him to the couch, he chewed on the skin around his thumb. I put the game controllers away and took my usual spot. Rev perched beside me, leaving a slight gap. The distance hurt, but it was smaller than I’d expected, and he hadn’t let go of my hand.
He went to speak, but I cut him off. I had things to get off my chest, and it needed to be done before he had the chance to end things. Before he could run away and disappear altogether.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” I said, dragging our joined hands into my lap like an anchor. “What I said that day . . . I didn’t mean a word of it.”
My voice shook as I kept going.
“Yeah, we were all on edge, and sure, emotions were high, but that doesn’t excuse any of it. You went through hell, and instead of being there for you, I made it worse.”
I looked down, breath catching, gripping his hand tighter.
“I care about you, Rev. More than I’ve ever known how to say. You’re everything to me, and the thought that I made you feel like you weren’t, that I might’ve wrecked this . . . fuck. I’d give anything to take it back.”
