Page 45 of The Crush
“What about how to protect yourself? So you can stay safe?”
He smiled at me, leaning closer. “Oh, yeah, they teach us self-defense, how to fight and everything.”
“Okay, good. That’s good.” I nodded, worrying at my bottom lip. Then I pulled my seat away a bit so I had more room to start filling out my lab book. My partner looked at me in confusion for a moment before doing the same.
The reassurance of “Daniel’s received training for this…probably” was one I would often repeat to myself in the months and even years to come. It didn’t really help. I always felt like I needed to see him. Catch a glimpse of him alive and okay, firm proof that he really had been equipped for the life he now lived.
Daniel leveling my brother in the church parking lot was never one of the ways I thought I’d get it.
Aarón hits the ground for a second time, the breath knocked clean out of him. I flinch on impact, try to tell myself it’s exactlywhat Aarón deserves, that he picked the fight and that it’s on him he didn’t pick well. It’s onhim, even if the part of me that remembers looking up to him hates to now have to look down.
Aarón’s clearly dazed as Daniel reaches down to grab him by the collar of his shirt, and he’s close enough now that I can see it. The way it’s written all over him, seeping through the cracks, spelling it out like letters. He’s here in front of me, but he’s also not here at all.
“Danny, he’sdown.Stop!” Gabe yells, abandoning Eli so he can grab Daniel from behind and pull him away. I exhale a sob of relief as Daniel lets himself be tugged back a few steps, even as his focus stays on Aarón. My eldest brother coughs and gasps in a breath, making no effort this time to jump back into the fight and perhaps now regretting his decision to make himself a newly minted martyr on holy ground.
At last, satisfied that Aarón has dealt all the damage he’s currently capable of, Daniel’s eyes swing to me, anxiety-etched creases on his face only deepening when he sees me still on the ground.
He puts his hands up, shrugging out of Gabe’s hold. “Let me go. I’m good.”
Gabe looks to me for confirmation, which I quickly give, and then is wise enough to release Daniel so he can get to me. I scramble to my feet, stumbling and hissing at the sharp pain from how I landed. Daniel catches me with a strong arm around my waist.
“Fuck, let me see. Are you hurt?” He’s shaking as his left hand frames my face, eyes already scanning me to check for himself.
“I’m okay.” My palms find their way to his chest, slipping beneath the edges of his suit coat to feel the heat radiating off his skin. He’s still breathing heavily, catching up from the fight here and, Isuspect, the one in his head. He winces slightly as my fingers brush his side.
“It’s fine,” he reassures me in response to my obvious concern. “Are you sure you’re—”
“I’m okay,” I tell him in return. “It’s okay.”
His eyes squeeze shut tight, and I feel him take one unsteady breath, then another. When he opens his eyes again, they’re a little clearer. But only a little.
“Aarón, what thefuck?” Gabe snaps from close by, grappling with his own barely restrained anger as Eli helps Aarón to his feet. I keep them in my line of sight, afraid things will explode all over again. “Whatthefuckis wrong with you?”
“Me?” Aarón spits back, his eye already swelling shut as he swipes the back of his hand over his busted lip. “What abouthim? Do you know what he’s been doing with our sister?”
“Of course,” Gabe responds, clearly annoyed as well as pissed. “I haveeyes, which is more than I can say for you right now, all-star.”
“Oh, fuck you, Gabe,” Aarón growls out before his gaze switches to me. His expression is unreadable, but his voice when he speaks again is uncharacteristically soft. “Hermanita, I didn’t mean… Are you—”
“What in thehellis going on?” my father’s voice booms, formally announcing his arrival, and Daniel immediately positions himself in front of me. I let him without complaint, allow him to tuck me behind his left shoulder, but not so out of sight that I think I can actually hide from any of this.
“Well?” my dad barks again. “Muñequita, come over here. Whatare you doing?”
He seems perplexed by my presence, as if unable to fathom how I’m involved in this, and God,everyoneis looking. Not even bothering to pretend they’re not watching and waiting for an explanation they think they’re owed.
“My friend,” Tadeo says, moving to stand closer to Daniel and me as he addresses my father. “Maybe we should take this somewhere more private.”
“No, I want to know what is going on. Right now.” My father’s head swings between Daniel and Aarón, whose face is being examined by my mother. I track the steady trickle of blood from an ugly cut below his left eye, the accompanying bruise already forming. I hope it hurts like hell.
“Whathappened?” my mother asks as she assesses the damage, looking to me as well to make sure I’m okay. “Mija, are you hurt? What were you thinking trying to get in the middle? Who started this? Danny, what—“ My mother pauses when her eyes skip to Daniel, then back to me, comprehension dawning as she takes in the way I’m holding on to him, the way he’s shielding me in return.
“Aarón,” my mother murmurs, calling my father by the name he shares with my eldest brother. “Weshouldtake this elsewhere.”
Too late, I think again, watching the way my father is now also piecing together why I’m not following his direction.Way too late for that.
Must be a hard pill to swallow. To see the perfect illusions you hold of two of your children shatter in a single moment. Guess Aarón’s not so high on his horse that he can’t be knocked down into the dirt. Guess I’m not…well, I’m not exactly sure what he thinks, but I can see his image of me changing before my eyes.Finally.
Did I break your little doll?
