Page 88 of Poetry By Dead Men
His hands weave through my hair as he pulls my head back, finding the hollow of my throat with his lips, and the vibration of his groan of pleasure sends me over the edge.I tighten around him, the sensation almost blinding as my body goes tight and wave after wave of ecstasy crashes over me.
And as Bobby finds his own release, spilling himself inside me, I know that even though Bobby was wrong in his decision to take a break, he'd also been right. We might have wasted six years, but there was always going to be a time for us. Because when something is meant to be, even our worst mistakes can't undo what fate has planned.
NOW
September 2024: Charlotte, NC
If you ever were to leave me
I don't know what I'd do
There's nothing that I wouldn't try
To keep from losing you
—A poem by Harrison Rouchester to Beth Winters, seven months into dating
A car door slams nearby, and I peer out the window. It’s way too early for Bobby to be back from his studio session, and a prickle of unease works its way down my spine. I put my pen down and stand as the bus doors hiss open.
"What are you doing back so…" My voice trails off. "Harrison." I freeze.
His eyes are dark. Wild. And even from several feet away, I can smell the scotch clinging to his breath. His hair is disheveled and the vein in his forehead throbbing, and in his arms is a plastic bag.
Harrison doesn't say a single word as he stands there with his chest heaving and a look of pure vitriol on his face. He dumps the bag on the floor at my feet, the pages floating to the ground with a whoosh.
I don’t want to look at the papers, but I can’t stop myself, my eyes zeroing in on the black ink.
My heart plummets as I take in the pages of lyrics I keep beneath the false bottom of my jewelry chest.
It stops completely when I notice that mixed among them is my manuscript.
You think I’d give you a new laptop without making sure I have access to everything on it?Harrison’s voice slithers through my mind.
He’d warned me he was watching, but I’d changed all my passwords.How was he still able to get into my files?
Harrison throws a handful of trinkets on the ground. My infinity bracelet. A guitar pick, also from my jewelry box.
"Care to explain?" The venom in Harrison’s voice gives me chills, every word a poison dart. Even at his worst, I’ve never heard him sound this way—possessed—and I take an involuntary step back. Before I even realize I’m doing it, my eyes are scanning for weapons. Anything I can use to defend myself.
"Explain what? It’s just a story, Harrison. Why don’t we sit down?" I raise my hands in front of me, trying to placate him, but they’re shaking.
"Cut the shit!" Harrison shouts in a rage, throwing a nearby chair to the floor with a crash. I jump, shuffling to the side to try to find a path to escape.
"Want to tell me what you’ve been hiding?" He stalks forward, his voice so deep and rough it sounds like the growl of a rabid animal.
"I don’t—"
The vein in his forehead bulges as his face turns red. "If you lie to me again, Elizabeth, you are going to regret it." He takes a step closer. A slow, deliberate step meant to put me on edge.
I look down at the pile of songs Bobby wrote for me so long ago, racking my brain for how to explain them away. Clearly, he's read them. They’re stained with grease and liquor, wrinkled and creased from being folded and unfolded. They’re ruined, and if I wasn’t so afraid, I'd mourn the loss of them. But there’s no room for that in my mind right now. Not when it’s flooded with adrenaline and fear.
"Nothing to say? No excuses? No more lies you'd like to tell me?" He slams his hand on the dining table, and I feel the vibration in my chest.I have to fight to keep breathing, inhaling and exhaling through the panic.
"Let’s just sit down, and I’ll explain everything—"
"You know," he cuts me off again. "I got a strange feeling the day you met me to have lunch with Bobby. And then you were so hesitant to come on this tour. It didn’t make sense. But it wasn’t until I visited that I knew you were fucking him," he snarls.
My jaw drops. "What? No! You’ve got it all wrong. I knew Bobby from when we were teenagers. Just kids. It was a long time ago. But nothing’s happened."
