Page 63 of Poetry By Dead Men
I’m begging for a miracle
Can you help me, please, St. Jude?
—An excerpt from "St. Jude," written and performed by Robert Beckett
The shiny, silver doors to Mount Sinai Kravis Children's Hospital loom in front of us as Bobby tries to calm himself down enough to enter. Molly and I have walked through those doors a hundred times to see Michael over the years, so often that I know exactly where to get the best cup of coffee and how to get to the nurses’ station to get extra ice chips or peanut butter crackers.
Bobby, on the other hand, hasn't been to a hospital since his dad passed away. His knuckles are white on his guitar case, his breathing slightly shallow.
"Ready?" I ask, grabbing his hand.
Bobby looks at me, and I feel him pulling strength from my skin into his own. He flips the switch, and in the blink of an eye he becomes Robert. Charming. Confident. And completely unfazed by walking through those doors.
"Lead the way," he says, motioning for me to go ahead. Molly’s waiting inside, standing with her mom, Stephanie, Bobby's new assistant, Carol, and a squat, older woman with rosy cheeks. I go to give Stephanie a hug, pulling Bobby behind me.
"Oh good! You're here!" the older woman says, immediately recognizing Bobby and introducing herself. "It's so nice to meet you. I'm Rita. The kids are all ready for you. The ones allowed to leave their rooms are in the playroom."
"And the kids who can't?" Bobby asks.
"Well, they're too immunocompromised to be around all the other children."
"Can I go to them? Is that…" he trails off, seemingly nervous about saying the right thing.
Rita smiles gently. "If you're willing to gown and glove up, that would be just fine. I’m sure they would love that."
"Great. Okay. Well. Is there anything else I need to know?" Bobby's forehead is creased as he takes off his ball cap, flipping it backward.
"Well…you should know that you have a lot of little fans in there who are thrilled to meet you. You're making a bad day infinitely brighter. So just have fun with them. That's what they need.”
Bobby visibly relaxes, a broad smile growing on his face. "Fun. I can do fun." He nods, taking my hand again as we follow Rita to the playroom.
As we walk up to the door, Bobby pulls Molly aside. "Could you go get Michael for me?" Molly nods, tears already forming in her eyes. Molly slips into the room, returning seconds later with Michael, who is bouncing on his toes as if he can’t contain his big excitement in his tiny body.
"Hey, Big Man!" Bobby says, kneeling in front of him. Michael's brown eyes sparkle, and he smiles his enormous, gap-toothed grin.
"You're really here!" Michael says, jumping up and down, then launching himself into Bobby’s arms.
“Of course I am!You’rehere. I obviously had to come say hi.” He gives Michael a tight squeeze, holding on until he starts togiggle and squirm. “I have something special for you, seeing as you're my number one fan and all, but I wanted to give it to you out here, so the other kids don't get jealous."
There's a mischievous twinkle in Bobby's eyes as he pulls back, grabbing the enormous box from Carol. It's wrapped in blue paper, and Michael wastes no time ripping into it. Inside is a child-sized guitar, a new Robert Beckett t-shirt, a ball cap that matches the one Bobby’s currently wearing, and two Nerf guns.
"Woah! This is all for me?" Michael says, grabbing the hat and putting it on.
"Sure is, Buddy. But don't worry, Carol here has another box in the car full of merch for the other kids. But this guitar and Nerf gun?" He picks up the toy. "They’re only for you," he says as he pulls the trigger, the foam dart hitting Michael in the belly.
Michael's jaw drops. "You're toast!" he says, grabbing the other gun as he runs to hide behind the nurses' desk.
"Michael!" Molly's mom, Stephanie, scolds, but there's no bite to it. "Manners!"
Molly grabs Michael from where he’s hiding. "I'll play with you later, munchkin," she says as Michael giggles. "Let's let Robert get in there with all your friends. He has a concert to put on, after all."
Bobby stands up, pulling his guitar back over his shoulder. "She's right, Mike." Bobby winks at him, and I swear Michael’s smile is bright enough to power the entire hospital. "We have a show to do. Why don't you go tell your friends to gather up, and I'll be there in a second," Bobby suggests.
"You got it!" Michael beams as he scrambles toward the door, pulling his hat off and flipping it backward like Bobby’s. Michael disappears through the door, but not before Bobby pulls his Nerf gun from behind him, hitting Michael square between the shoulder blades and pushing the Nerf gun into my hands.
"Hey!" Michael spins around, narrowing his eyes. "Not fair, Beth!"
I push the gun back to Bobby, but he raises his hands in the air, refusing to take it.
